I... love her. Marcel The Shell With Shoes On still gets me.

So...I’m just gonna say it

If it took you until a cyst was the size of a doorknob to realize you needed medical attention....dude. I don’t even actually know what I’m going to say here. Just...dude.

Disappointed because I thought it was gonna be stocks like Salem type stocks and we’d get pictures of them putting each other in the stocks.

Maybe next Christmas he can give people exquisitely framed copies of his most recent bank statement.

We can only hope Trump is found strangled to death with a ceramic dildo shoved up his ass and the coroner rules it a suicide as Melania chuckles under her breath.

Hello Internet. I am here to help.

Everytime I hear some GOP politician start a sentence with “The American People want...,” inevitable what comes next is precisely nobody but the GOP and their donors actually want.

In 2013, the FBI announced that they know who did it, but didn’t give their names and they’ve since died, apparently.

“No.”

Taking a vegan to a steak house...

Bobby Finger, why were you not included in the What We’re Not Mad About Anymore post?

Congrats to the Kardashian tribe on their first Gap commercial.

Many stars for “a nap that I am paying for”. I even did “sleeping yoga” (yoga nidra) - you are not supposed to go to sleep, but you must be lying fully prone, covered in a warm blanket, head resting on a pillow and a bean bag over your eyes to block out the light. I shit you not. But you are not supposed to go to…

Every grift begins with Kay

LOCK HER UP!

i just expect it to be wrinkle free and neatly folded usually

Congratulations and Merry Christmas! I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. I hope your meds kick in soon. If you can, try to respond to your friends. They likely thought they were being helpful by keeping their germy bodies away from Baby C.

That is amazing of Taylor Swift! Katy Perry also does big charity work for kids, UNICEF, AIDS and made huge donations to Planned Parenthood. They both rock but if this spurs them to donate more it’s a competition I endorse!

Of course it’s the “gas of life.”