I’d like to point out the miracle that is the box of baby wipes that sits on the back of my and many other dad’s toilets for cleaning up their toddler’s ass. I discovered them one day after noticing I was out of toilet paper post dump, and thought why not? Oh, the smooth cool relief, especially if you have chili or…

My college (Texas Tech) used to be in a dry city when I was there. You could get alcohol in bars but not stores. So this was the result at the city limits-

This is an incredibly irresponsible claim by the NFLPA. The clause is for wage differential. The idea is, let’s say I’m a plumber who gets injured on the job and I am unable to continue my profession and take a lower paying job. Wage differential means that my former employer covers the difference until I reach the…

i dont think those are highlights, i think its some sort of hat.

This is the most coverage a Hogan has got around here in a long time.

Maybe because the MLB doesn’t run the HoF?

Other sportswriters have sent in blank, signed ballots on purpose in the past 3 years or so for the express reason to vote for nobody. That means this dingdong has no excuse for his alleged ignorance that the blank ballot he signed and sent will be counted as a vote and raise the threshold for everyone who is…

Holy Shit!

This is the winner.

I have lived in the South and North and I have noticed a generalized difference between whites. In the South, a lot of white folks will be so nice and welcoming but would say the most racist things ever behind my back. But to my face it was all smiles and they were quite helpful. In the North, a lot of white folks…

This PC bro schtick is getting real old, Deadspin. All he said was he hopes he has a successful NFL career and uses that platform to teach others not to make the same mistakes he did.

I’m confused as to why you made up a quote when you didn’t need to... so here it is in full for you:

Well, hell, even I can beat Tom Brady in a foot race...

A lot of fancy dogs don’t know how to sit, but this one does, like a good boy:

“Ever vacuum a kid? They laugh when you do it on the belly.”

Ethnic and gender diversity does not stop groupthink. It can help, unless you keep hiring from the same pool of people. I will let you in on a secret about diversity... I don’t care if you hire a mix of genders and ethnicities, if the all are engineers taught at LSU, then they will think like engineers taught at LSU.…

Excellent piece, Hamilton. I totally agree. But how do you reconcile this with your own site’s lack of diversity?

I am not sure why, but in my bones I feel like the Patriots should be fined for this.

Same thing will happen to Pete Rose after he dies. I’d bet on it.

As a penis haver, if I’m in the shower and need a quick testicular release, that bar of soap is far too complicated. Instead I reach for conditioner and proceed to rough up the suspect. Conditioner stays slick and it makes my penis smell nice afterward, and my wife won’t ask why there’s a fucking hole in a goddamned…