WAITER, I'LL HAVE THE CLUMSY EXPOSITION.

I teared up a little when he called her boss lady. Right on, Snoops.

ihatepickingnames has a point, you guys. Let us be fair-minded when regarding the sexual exploits of the county fair/s.

YES. This is option A.5, everyone.

I am taking this blatantly out of context because words are fun (and I know what he means): Ladiez, what exactly is "fair sex"?

Attention, creators of this app:

Athleta/Old Navy is where its at. If I could spend every day for the rest of my life in Athleta/Old Navy wear I would.

Me too. Kid can daaaaaaaance.

AHHHHH. Best. Comment. EVAH.

I'm with you 100 percent. Lay out all your cards, hiding them is tiring.

Pheeeeeeew. Thank you :). Never Mind, Disney. You can look now.

Oh Happiness. Thank you for making my day brighter.

Please tell me Disney isn't looking :(. This is wonderful. DON'T LOOK DISNEY. CLOSE YOUR EYES, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

Photoshop is America's REAL hero.

But what a way to go, eh?

Hooray for compatible uterine interests! Our machine shall be called 'The Nachonator'.

They sound like bouncy, fuzzy 1980s cartoon characters. My Feelings, They Explode.

FleurdeLeah, I loves you. LeParcel it is.

To elaborate, mine would be Vodka, a never ending pile of cheesy nachos, and the box set of Dynasty. Nothing does more for my cramps/irritability than a raging Joan Collins.

I want this for adults. Except instead of candy, you get tiny bottles of vodka and other assorted 'encouragements'.