If the judge’s contempt stems from frustration that victims often drop complaints, she did the absolute worst thing she could have done. Victims are already terrified to press charges; the judge just announced to victims everywhere that the very worst thing they can ever do is seek help through the legal system,…

Stuff happens. Sometimes, when there’s a problem- your first thought may be to fix it but it might not be the right thing to do because.... Socialists.

This happened to me at my grandmother’s wake. I was standing next to her coffin and also wearing size 4 pants, but it was a lady who asked me when I was due. She then went on and on how wonderful it would be because new life even after I gave her an appalled look and told her I was not pregnant.

“Lose some weight, girl! I can almost see you.”

So many. My non-pregnant friend just today got a pat on the tummy by a dude who asked her when she’s due. She’s a size 4.

They scream “good boy” to him, actually, and he just gender-swaps.

Um, because women get abortions and men get guns.

I shouldn’t find that as funny as I do. Like this one:

Let me tell you a story about basic arithmetic in the United States of America. One day I saw an article in the newspaper about a presidential candidate’s speech, in which he said, “When I am elected, I will a.) double the defense budget, b.) lower taxes for everybody, and c.) balance the budget and eliminate the…

As someone who was good at math (not great, but decent at it) I HATE that being bad at math is a thing people can just laugh off for simple shit like this. I’m not talking about stuff like calculus. That’s fine if you can’t do it. Just like it’s fine if you don’t read Joyce or Faulkner or whatever. But if you come…

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

Even if the vote gets split, if Harper has a minority, the other parties still have to support him forming government. Mulcair and the little shit, Trudeau, seem to have been saying recently that they have no intention of allowing him to form government if it comes to that.

This is the atmosphere wingnuts want.

They exist, they’re everywhere. We call ‘em Lawful Evil.

My neighbor’s name is Arlo. He’s a 70 year old Swiss man who sells tractors. I think it’s perfectly appropriate for an old man or an insurance company, not so much for a baby. I don’t like name trends, especially this one of naming everyone an old man’s name. It’s going to peak and die quickly, so there’ll be 4 years…

Yup. If it’s a once-yearly out-of-state visit? “Sorry, but [wife] has to work. Her boss is awful! I hate it too!” Lather, rinse, repeat.

I find her talking less annoying than her singing. That baby voice. Trying so hard. It’s like the audial equivalent to Renee Zellweger’s face.

“How dare you! I’m beautiful!”

Is the question rhetorical? Because if it is...

Why? Because our lives are mundane drudgery and all of us want something, no matter how brief and stupid, that is magical and special to happen to us. No one gets an owl at age 11, no one follows a white rabbit down a hole. We sustain ourselves with fictions because reality is mostly an awful, cold place where you…