It’s almost like he’s just a person and not imbued with the spirit of a random god.

I think I’ve got Shitty Apology Bingo!

Back in 9th grade we were finally allowed to leave the High School during lunch period and I decided to take a walk over to 7-11 and picked up a Big Gulp and a pack Rain-blo bubblegum balls, awesome lunch for a 14 year old

I’ve had jobs that were worse than unemployment. I’ve also had the misfortune of having to stay at a job that beat me down for years.

crying with laughter reading this.

Scene- My bedroom, 2 AM, after a bottle and a half of wine.
Players (In a theatre sense, not like, a gross way to say ‘lovers’ or whatever)- My husband and also my me.

We were young, early 20’s, shitty on wine, having laugh sex, where we sort of clumsily bounced around the bedroom, laughing and not totally putting all…

Mine is lavender, and I can’t help but sleep more on the left side (also mr kittyman sleeps on the right side), but I def have the farting and snoring thing DOWN.

woman does thing, is happy. society burns.

I’ve never promised not to make fun of people with disabilities. It’s still fucked up if I do. We’ve long decided in our society that you’re held to certain social contracts whether you choose to sign on the dotted line or not. I wish people would quit with this non-argument.

I won’t call her out on the affair—he broke vows, she didn’t. She owes nothing to another person’s marriage. That said, the way she taunted the first wife was borderline sociopathic.

After Julia Roberts started dating that married dude and then went around wearing a shirt rubbing it in the wife’s face, FUCK Julia Roberts. I’m sure there’s more to the story but still, not classy.

Seriously, Theron made that movie. Hardy is great and all, blah blah blah, but that movie was Theron all the damn way.

Yes.

Your grandfather sounds awesome; I’m sorry for your loss.

My family was not religious but when my dad was dying we brought a priest in for last rites. My father had been in and out of consciousness all day. When the priest anointed his head his eyes flew open and he glared at him like “what the every loving fuck is this shit!”

Insurance actually covered my entire operation. I had to meet a certain number of criteria for them to pay for it, and I think I met all but 1 (they like you to be older than I was). My dad had good insurance through his union, but I think a lot of people are surprised at how much insurance will cover for that,…

Do people think a blood sacrifice is required every month or else our beauty melts away to reveal haggard crones?

I just want to be like “Well, I get some occasional fruit flies, but otherwise we’re all good.”

FIFY...