@Adam Pally: Or, they said who is this patronizing little pisher.

Kris: “Robbie, Never forget than Mommy loves you just the way you were.”

I mean, it seems like the creators of button-down shirts haven’t figured out how breasts work AT ALL, regardless of size. I’ve been a 34B and I’ve been a 38D and I’ve never had a shirt that didn’t have boob-button-gap.

yeah but sometimes you’d like to live your life pretending. Especially when it comes to the predatory nature of men.

Aimee, this was a wonderful, well written and eye opening article. Will you please write a series about the unsung, unapologetically badass women of the last sixty years?

I had cancer at 29 and a recurrence at 31. Every gray hair is a reminder I didn’t die when I was 29. Every wrinkle is another day I got to spend with my family and on the planet because I didn’t die.

I have not yawned in over 40 years.

What if you discover that the goat is your true love?

The goat cannot consent... because it’s a goat.

yeah, you have to be really rich to be $53 million in debt.

Everything is normal when you're one.

I’ll get you a cream for butt enhancement. It’s called butter, and it’s delicious.

I was working at a popular electronics store when a customer came in to buy his wife a really fancy scale for mother’s day. I couldn’t talk him out of it. He just kept telling me “she’s been feeling really out of shape lately, and this will be great to help her get back on track”

I've given up this kind of stuff. There's a reason why Vaseline has been around so long :/

It might not make you live longer, but eating this way will probably make your life *seem* a lot longer...

sensual forms of the male pelvis and hips and a GIANT WIENER!

Wow. We dudes are nothing if not persistent. Andy’s been dead thirty years and still managed to send a woman a dick pic.

I think he did it.

I’m almost always on time but when I’m late, I am fucking late. Like yesterday when I was an hour late for work. I think I fell into a time hole because I can’t figure out how it took my 90 minutes to get there.

Half the ladies I know completed puberty in a mere 90 minutes because of that bulge.