I assumed it was a cute nickname for Dipshit.

I thought that was pretty rude, and her charm is starting to fade.

FUCK YR DESCRIPTIVE LINGUISTICS! PRESCRIPTIVISM FOREVER!

re Jenny Slate: Body snarking is so 2012. Also, I'm starting to find her insufferable.

It really doesn’t, though. It really doesn’t.

I’m dry-humping my work desk right now!

CeeLo Green is a rapist. Do not understand why people choose to not see this.

Jenny Slate: STORY. CHECKS. OUT.

Coco should be surprising her gardener with pastries. What is this nonsense!?

Not touching anything else on your plate?

which, if he’s “in love” with her like she claims, he should be happy to do it, to clear her name.

I miss when finding an Ugly Christmas Sweater was an actual task, like when we would go to the bizarro vintage shops in Kensington Market and find something that someone’s dad was absolutely wearing in the photos from Christmas ‘85. It’s too easy now.

And if it didn’t cost money.

I just kept telling myself that no self respecting ghost would choose to haunt a windowless conference room in the middle of an office park. I was pretty freaked out though - we have a light that flickers at home too and I was starting to wonder if I was haunted!

I was reading them while pumping in the mother’s room at work when the light went out and wouldn’t come back on! It’s on a motion sensor but usually waving your arms turns it back on. This time, even the light switch wouldn’t work! After about five increasingly harrowing minutes it just randomly turned back on. I’d…

I pretty much refuse to go into my mirrored medicine cabinet at night, because I know, I KNOW, something will be behind me when I shut it.

Yes mirrors are scary as hell. Especially when my german shepherd is sitting at the end of the hall and I pass by the bathroom, glance into the mirror and see a shadow just staring at me. I turn around and it's just here looking happy sitting on the floor. For some reason in the mirror she looks like another beast.

Mirrors freak me out any time of day, and I’m also a skeptic.

I am 33 and just read this in the bath and had to get up and open the door to hear my husband and my boys talking downstairs so I could be less freaked out. And I couldn't look in the mirror when I got out.

One time I was reading this scary book about demons ( I am an asshole and never learn) and my son walked into our room with his blanket over his head, saying nothing. Just walking toward me.