Despite having worked with tutors all summer, Gabriel Landeskog failed his Things Go on Which Side of This Line exam yet again.

Sounds promising, but I think I’m going to wait for the Jim Tomsula review to see how well it plays on an actual potato.

There were two American players who got their names engraved on the Cup, but one of them signed with Tampa over the summer to escape yesterday’s shitshow.

There is no way he reads 21 sentences about anything without ad-libbing 31 disjointed sentence fragments about himself.  Fake news!

If Obama had ever done it, Chump would have tried to do it twice.

Butt-kicking for consoles!

They’re saving him for Round 69.

A football pervert watches the XFL.

So we’re just ignoring Marchand’s stick dropping down to trip Comtois as he avoids the check?

Mine was flash-frozen and warmed up in a microwave.  Enjoy!

Which setting protects overly-sensitive PRC apparatchiks from the phrase “tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff”?

Ode to an Excrescent Nodule of Orange and Teal Growing out of the Tip of Florida’s John Thomas One Mid-Autumnal Morning

As an owner, doing owner-y things, writing checks and building facilities and laying the foundation for success, Jerry Jones is one of the best in the NFL.  

I think New Jersey sent a cease-and-desist, or something.

Toronto took down the Bon Jovi banner they used to have in their rafters. Hasn’t done much for the Leafs yet, but it sure made space for the Raptors? Right? Right?

THESIS STATEMENT:  If the Allies had allowed Germany to manufacture laxatives, maybe Hitler wouldn’t have written a whole book about his struggle.

Came for this.  Leaving with some ibuprofen, a gallon of distilled water, and my prescriptions.

2 birds, 1 bat

The Hartford Whalers were a bad hockey team with a fantastic logo and color scheme.  Their Carolina successors are a much better team, with a logo that will be the 32nd-best in the NHL the day that Seattle unveils theirs.

But not Reese’s Oversized Coffee Mugs. We had a committee once at work to make sure the communal cabinet space in the break room was available to everyone, so that nobody would be left without a place to put their mugs. Then somebody got the bright idea to sell off the cabinet space as a “fundraiser”, and before you…