At this point, Washington could only dream of hiring someone as competent as Jeff Fisher.

...they did it in the most disrespectful manner imaginable.

Genius!

Noted series villain James Meredith used his poison umbrella to integrate the University of Mississippi.

It’s been in several of his speeches. But he doesn’t read exactly what’s written, so it comes out as something to do with cops are the greatest because of electoral colleges.

Orwell had it wrong.  You don’t need to reduce the number of words in the language to control thought; you just need to make all the words meaningless.

Angel
Angel or devil
I was thirsty
And you wet my lips

Pence is like if Race Bannon and Sealab’s Captain Murphy had a kid.

That Pibb guy, on the other hand, was just some wanker off the street.

Next universe crossover: The Writer meets Deadpool.

We need Schiano back in our lives

“Why didn’t he just use ketchup, like a normal person?”

Toni Braxton wants to know if they can breathe again.

Did he just say “making fuck”?

I don’t think Mitch Rubinsky has earned the right to complain about how Bears fans pronounce his name. Dude is two INTs away from being Jake Utler Junior.

Columbia alumnus Isaac Asimov would roll over in his grave at this news.

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to play a tuba, son.

They defunded everything!  Even the stuff they didn’t steal!

The internet will be scouring the first few episodes frame-by-frame, looking for birds on things.

Username checks out.