This article is absurd. The only factor here is which political party is hurt by this accusation. Jezebel would never dare write a story about whether or not she gets the benefit of the doubt if the sides were reversed

Seems to me they euthanized the wrong goddamn animal >:(

Seems weird an obese guy named “Skeeter” isn’t from Florida already...

Family Circus and Marmaduke are two of the worst things in human history, non-murder/war division.

Gas, brake, honk. Sack, pick, sack. Honk, honk, punch

Zika: GIVE UP THE GHOST! Quit talking about how you’re still “chasing the ghost” of Bubonic Plague as if you can catch/pass BP legacy. You can’t.

Clearly Paul Rudd in a fat suit. Granted, he’s doing research for his next film, “Fat Tony Romo.”

More like Neck Martin am I right, ladies and gentlemen?

I was gonna say KD (Kraft dinner) being from Canada. But same same. It still works.

Oatmeal Cream Pies in the refrigerator are a godsend.

Pretty elaborate, especially when you consider the set-up for this involved divorcing the kid’s mom and moving to a new apartment ten months earlier.

Waiters gonna wait

Man, Affleck is a shitty Batman.

It kind of looks like blackface.

Aw man. I suck. Well, I’ll just go fuck myself then.

You should read the article. It’s a good one I think!

“I DIDN’T ASK TO BE NAMED SCOTT”

*As pictured

That’s low-hanging fruit

“about damn time” -Steven Adams' testicles