A HS friend’s mom wouldn't let her hang out with me because she said I was wild. I saw her a few years ago and told her maybe if she had let her daughter hang out with me, she wouldn't have married a dude with a huge swastika tattoo that covers his entire chest.

I was excited that Parliament debated for 3 hours whether to BAN TRUMP FROM ENTERING THE UK!!! Even tho they ultimately did not, it’s still a more efficient use of time than anything we’re doing over here.

me: *wearing Star Wars shirt and wielding a light sabre* why didn’t she point at me?

I and a few others created Free Republic accounts back during Kerry’s campaign to essentially “play up the crazy”, i.e. take FR’s most nutter positions and ramp them up in order to make the whole place look nuts. Eventually it became less and less necessary, as there were hundreds of batshit insane people that…

Srsly. Are the going to have start footnoting that? “Does Not Contain 1,000,000 Moms” “One Million Moms” is a copyrighted brand and is not intended to represent a mathmatical number...

My friend, a very organized and responsible take-charge type, took her own reproductive responsibilities upon her teenaged shoulders as soon as she started getting some, and requested birth control options from her gynecologist..... for her pains, she got a “slut” lecture from this gynecologist.

I wonder if her friends didn’t realize she had left until later? The last time I got in a fight with a friend at a party, I thought he just went to talk to someone else but it turned out he tried walking home and passed out in the alley (and fortunately was not run over by a neighbor.) We live in Texas, though.

There is this weird American attitude that I have yet to encounter somewhere else that if you are from a traditionally cold place, the cold shouldn’t bother you, and like Marshall and Robin in HIMYM, you should be able to wear shorts and eat ice cream in the middle of a blizzard. I remember pulling on my big down coat…

Wait is the question if I’m a virgin or if I’m a slut? I forgot the rules

My mother is convinced she knows exactly when my sister and I got those deeds done. She was wrong on both counts, which is particularly funny in my sister’s case, as my mother caught her and her boyfriend in the act and they played it off like it was the first time and would never happen again. It was not and it did.…

As a former teenage virgin who was on the pill almost as soon as her period started, and who was NOT sexually active, thank you. Birth control changed my life in high school, and not because it's a contraceptive.

Get with the times! I bet she was measuring the width of her tank top strap. Only two fingers wide? WHORE!!

Just know that you have named my autobiography. “Catching Dick Left and Right: The LolaCat5 Story” will sell ALL the copies because of you.

I had a nun who ran my dorm (yay catholic college) and she pulled this. She looked over all of us freshman year and said “I know right now which one of you are rulebreakers and which ones aren’t.”

My mom told me you could tell who had lost their virginity because their butts would suddenly get bigger.

To a subset of mothers, “motherly” means “entirely up in and controlling of my daughter’s vagina.”

According to the linked article, there were only about six kids in the group. I cannot even FATHOM how she “suggested one was not” a virgin. Did she, like, point to one of them and go “this slut right here is CLEARLY catching dick left and right, but what about the rest of you?”

“So, are you girls virgins? I can tell Julie is not because look at her exposed ankles. That’s the mark of a hussy. Put some clothes on Julie.”

“In hindsight, a few of the thoughts I shared, while well-intended, may have come across as more motherly than what they would expect from their state representative,” she wrote. “If anything I said offended them or made them feel uncomfortable, I apologize.”

Is anyone else excited that Bible Spice might be endorsing Trump today? This GOP primary is the shit show we deserve. Watching them burn their party to the ground is more satisfying than watching Obama beat them twice.