It’s not like she was reading anything political or subversive. She was basically checking out “movie times”.

Just hand him yours, instead. At the end of the conversation, give him a smile and say “give me a text sometime”, write down your number, then walk away ;)

I can’t even ask a guy for his number. I can’t imagine being all ballsy and say “Will you marry?” Kudos to all those brave women, you’re the real MVP.

But, like, he was bffs with a “slut”/prostitute!

Oh I remember when I got my first job and my insurance covered birth control for free (after paying $120 a year previously with my college student insurance) I remember thinking: everyone should get birth control for free!!! This should be mandatory! And a few years later Obamacare passed...and then Hobby Lobby ruined…

But, seriously, that’s the only harm done: an imaginary concern troll in the sky gets upset.

No. Being proud of her own success - at her career and at not getting pregnant - is not an implied criticism of other women.

Amen, sister. Almost 32 and still baby-free, thanks to my fear of penises as a teenager, and a free supply of slut pills as an adult. THANKS OBAMA.

You like her hair here? Personally, I think it looks like she combed it out after getting out of the shower and just waited 45 minutes for it to partially air dry.

What harm comes from supplying people with birth control, condoms, Pap smears, and cancer screenings?

She seems to be on a Jolie style trajectory of becoming more political and outspoken as she gains more power and I’m kind of loving it. I’d be shocked if she took it as far, but it looks like she’s having the same “maybe I should do something with all this attention I’m getting” lightbulb moment.

They rule at my job at an arboretum. Coyote walks by, no one blinks. Raccoon is 20 yards away, we all back away very very very slowly. What I mean is, I would have set my house on fire and taken a knee.

In the next frame, his pals band together and create a raccoon ladder, open the door with their tiny human hands and eat my face off...

I’ve been to Ulu Watu! A monkey took the hair band out of my pony tail and just sat there playing with it. Monkey hands in my hair felt reallllly weird.

On a day trip to a temple in Katmandu, Nepal, some friends and I made the mistake of feeding the monkeys there. At first it was little ones and females. Off to the side was a huge male, probably the granddaddy of them all. He quietly observed for awhile. Then he came up to me and gently took hold of the hem of my…

It might just be that I’m 5, but does the term “long tailed macacque” make anyone else giggle uncontrollably?

If you want monkey future, forget monkey past
If you wanna get with monkey, better make it fast
Now don’t go wasting my monkey time
Get your monkey act together we could be monkey fine.

I AM GOING THERE ON MY HONEYMOON. I am unreasonably excited for this temple. Someone told me that they would try and steal my stuff and I was like...worth it. 100%. MONKEY TEMPLE.

I think I know why the link is missing. A monkey stole it.

They are stealing crap that is meaningless to them in order to get delicious food. Circle the monkey in this equation.