http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_vaul… some of these are even better!

I'm sorry—that you beat me to it!

This jerk would probably think she caused it by turning him down instead of following the path to marriage.

Why is the dog so very very mad at cabbage?

Beards.

Nice try Trolly McTrollerton!

Are we married?! That sounds awfully familiar.

Totally relevant. Totally awesome.

#notallfloridamen

But breasts are just supposed to be sexual, right? How dare some people think they are a natural part of child rearing! I mean, boobs are ok if the women are being objectified, but a baby in there just ruins it!

There should be a whole Law and Order about Christmas-elf Hate Crime.

Should we get off your lawn too?

So you have projected you broyher's bad parenting on all parents who like heavy metal? Why are the kids using the internet without supervision?

The goths I've known have glorified violence much less than those who believe in an omnipotent god whose best solution was to tack his own son up on a pole.

Ouch! Hit a nerve there, didn't I? You're back to all sorts of fun words and imaginings of me. Yammering? Hmmm. I'll give it points for voice, but not for accuracy. No thoughts of me peeing, so I guess that's good? All I'm trying to point out, is that you (like many people), seem to think that you can act in a way…

Or to find out how to drive their man wild in bed——and the secret is artisinal mayonnaise!

"To explain my position and have you really understand it would require you to understand the true nature of certain things like, self, thoughts, awareness, time, presence, and beliefs. It took a life-crisis and then some years of study and reflection to arrive at this, but through this, reality is seen as it is -…

Oh! I had repressed my favorite one! Someone told me that we should "hang out after you calve."

Don't like the story/perspective? Don't comment. It's quite simple. Just don't comment. What a concept.

And didn't you just love the horrific pregnancy/birthing stories that women felt obligated to drop on you too?! I've been (since having my kid) been trying, should I be talking to a pregnant lady, to (if she even wants any conversation about her pregnancy) tell stories about how things can go just fine.