My biggest beef with the prequels is that they (spoilers, though you really should have watched it by now) killed off the queen. I wanted Debbie Reynolds to appear in the sequels as Leia's aged mother.

I met her once, singing with a gay men's chorus many years ago. We had her as a guest star, and she was an absolute delight.

I think 2016 is into it, honestly. That's why it keeps acting out like this.

Please, try to be a little more circumspect.

If you look at pictures of her through the ages, she was a fresh young face for a while, then suddenly, sometime in the '60s, she was old, and she just held that face for another few decades, until suddenly she was very old. This process must surely end somewhere, but she's doing in discrete steps what most of us do…

I'm just hoping she makes it through the end of this year. I don't want to have to tell this story too many times.

I considered that, but thought that might be too obvious.

I saw her at an event earlier this year in Palm Springs. It was a celebration of Carol Channing's 95th birthday, two months after the actual birthday, but whatever.

It turns out it's [white] man.

Just barely.

2016 wants you to let your guard down, it's okay.

I agree, but I think it would have been a very different thing if, right after the Civil War, perhaps as part of the conditions of reunification, the Confederacy and its symbols were made illegal. It would have been a hazier argument to make for free speech protections.

There are already legal prohibitions against treason and sedition, including incitement to do either one. It'd be an easy argument to say displaying Confederate symbols is tantamount to encouraging treason. But of course it'd be political suicide to say any such thing, so here we are.

Chicago, save yourself the trouble and just watch Showgirls while high out of your mind.

Just a few months ago, I went to an event in Palm Springs celebrating Carol Channing's 95th birthday.

I have already performed all my solo shows for the rest of my life. Attendance has been poor.

In fact, I'm pretty sure he was drinking a glass of water when Bush said it.

Careful, they'll give you a Razzie.

I came into this post ready to say "Why isn't Pina on this list, you monsters?"

I hope you all appreciate all the pooping I don't do in your houses.