Is "I'm all sex positive and all, but..." the new "I'm not a racist, but..."? Cause if not, you just made it happen.

It's a symbolic set of ripped abs, to represent her intellectual ass-kicking prowess.

I'm sure the jokesmith just has such a sophisticated and nuanced style of weaving comedy that it is simply eluding our simpleton feminist brains entirely.

I've had so many accidental soccer mom haircuts in my teenage years, even after providing pictures and descriptions and emphasizing things like edgy and not soccer mom-ish that leaving a salon feeling attractive and confident would be a godsend for me at this point. I actually started trimming my own hair and haven't…

Motorboating for breast cancer awareness guys can make their next prank thrusting their faces deep into a bathtub full of warm human excrement for colon cancer or Crohn's disease.

Well yes, people care, but I think people also overstate the level of fucks the average person gives re:Murca. It often seems like people living outside of America tend to speak on behalf of every other single person not living in America, as if just not living in America alone unites everyone along a common thread of…

Oh hell yes. A thousand times yes. This is certainly disgraceful behavior, but maaaan, this whole "hip to hate on America" thing is one of the oldest ones in the book. We're bananas, we get it, but goddammit, we're working on it :(

People have been telling America that the world hates it for years. Our citizens know it, believe me. They know it so well that they then turn around and use it to claim that their vacation to _________ was riddled with people who hated them for being American because _________ and boom, you've got a martyr complex,…

Well...no, you don't. I also use cheap boxed dyes, but my expectation is that the color will be wonky or that it won't last long, not that it'll cause my hair to fall out and ruin my scalp for years in the future.

HA HA HA PEOPLE WHO CAN'T AFFORD EXPENSIVE HAIR TREATMENTS WANTING PRETTY HAIR ON THEIR BUDGET, AMIRITE????

Yeah, Jezebel, it's time for you to really mature and stop posting factual stuff about pregnancy that makes it look scary because it makes me feel weird and I can't handle my adult emotions! GROW UP ALREADY, JEZEBEL.

Lord jesus, is there some part of 'average woman' that is unclear here?

For celebrities and women with the time/money/resources? Sure. For the AVERAGE woman, as I said? You'd be pretty hard-pressed to make that point.

It takes a village.

Seriously, this kind of look is not even achievable by the average woman on a daily basis, which means most of these outraged dipshits will never even A) encounter a woman with this much makeup on AND B) get said woman interested in them AND C) Actually have sex with them.

It doesn't have to be one or the other — sometimes I wear makeup because I feel like it and sometimes I do something specifically because I know my partner likes it.

I'd like to think it could be implied with slow, languid strokes and a relaxed sphincter. Put it in a field with some flowers, maybe surround it with cushions to portray a certain sense of unhurried luxury.

The fact that artists are even still trying to push vaginas as edgy material is boooooriiiiiiing. You're totally right, modern art was on that shit ages ago, so that ship has basically sailed. I predict buttholes will be the Next Big Thing. :D

I'm not sure I understand this, but whatever it is, I like it. A lot.

If they wanted to stir controversy based on a "natural state", why not illustrate an unbleached asshole slowly taking a dump? Copping a picture of a woman masturbating and turning it into an ode to menstruation is pretty rote material.