Are we all really taking the stance that unsolicited kissing/fondling of the breasts without prior consent would be okay if she was a confirmed adult? Because I’m over 40, and will punch you in the fucking face—if not lower.

Seriously tho, fuck March.

Tell them you’ll only take down the post if Shelley herself shows up in person and asks you to do so.  YOU ANSWER TO NO MAN.

Everyone, stop freaking out. She’s not missing. She’s simply locked in a windowless dungeon, chained to a wall.

“Jezebel is a feminist website,” Riffer adds in his letter. “It should not be a tool to allow one woman (Remini) to harass another woman (Mrs. Miscavige), her husband and her religion.”

I don’t want to say that the lawyer has a point but if you think about it you’ll notice that if you rearrange the letters in the name Anna Merlan you can spell “Xenu Forever”

Doing their own laundry? Let’s not get crazy here.

Now I need a drink.

An older coworker was convinced his Microsoft word was "hacked." I'm like no your caps lock is on.

Plus who goes after Ariana Grande of all people? Hey, Michael. I know you’re reading this because you’re a washout has-been thirsty for validation who starts shit on social media because Spike Lee will never call you. Listen, you born and raised on the Upper East Side wannabe tough-guy, there’s no such thing as…

Michael Rapaport is 48 looks 63 and acts 16. If you keep literally every aspect of him exactly the same there’s hotter men every place anywhere. 

“It’s for gay men.”

“Drew’s parents—your son has touched us all.”

“Currently NOT dead” sure sounds like something a guy who HAD BEEN dead would say...

Good to see Drew avoided the clutches of BIG DEATH.

The even distribution of tree ornaments. I can’t stand having two of the same kind two close together or “holes” where there’s nothing, or having them bunched together too much. It’s bad enough that we have to leave the bottom row of branches bare because of Cat Tooth Destruction.

The wheelchair is in case anyone faints at the site of his hotness and he needs to set them down somewhere safe.

You left a box out around a cat?  Rookie mistake.

My vote is gas station chicken salad 

Holy shit, if you can’t trust football coaches & Catholic priests these days who can you trust?