They’re actually looking through his crotch, at his wallet in his back pocket. Like Superman, except hoes. I believe the prophet Soulja Boy wrote of this 

The women in my family have always said, “how you get ‘em is how you lose ‘em,” but this feels almost too on the nose.

I know exactly how to stay monogamous in a partially long-distance relationship: Don’t become romantically involved with other people.

Hard to believe that he suddenly just stopped being a predatory creepazoid in 2008.

Ten Baseball Hall of Famers pose outside the museum in Cooperstown, June 12, 1939. Front row; Eddie Collins, Babe Ruth, Connie Mack, Cy Young. Back row: Honus Wagner, Grover Cleveland Alexander, Tris Speaker, Napoleon Lajoie, George Sisler and Walter Johnson.

My fiancee has been having frequent nosebleeds since last Friday. How do I tell her to take a massive shit and blow your nose and go to the doctor?

Lets say the United States decides to split into two countries, one controled by the democrats and one by the GOP. If those two groups were drafting for states what would the draft order be? Lets let the dems pick first since they lost the last election. Their first pick has to be California right? The GOP likely…

tag yourself, i’m These Mark Zuckerberg Cutouts “Poked” Me Right In the G-Spot

the only person I’ve ever considered marrying is my current BF, and I’m fifty freaking years old. so yeah. I’d say it’s hella difficult.

“Pop that pussy while you work/Pop that pussy up in church/Pop that pussy on a pole/Pop that pussy on the stove.”

Does this mean Wendy Williams will feel like shit and apologize to the woman she shamed weeks ago because the woman knew something Wendy didn’t?

Damn you and your kindly “email story forwarded by grandma” joke

Omg. All that work to not just say firefighters. Wtf.

‘It’s Not a Fucking Accident’

Soooo...am I only one who read “right from the tap” and envisioned Aimee lapping water from the tap while her cats wailed? Anyone? anyone? And NYC tap water is delicious.

A would grab ALL the Frontline.

Let me tell you a tale of predatory corporate ownership and media consolidation...

Lorde inadvertently making a really tasteless joke when she just wanted to share her love of a good bath is literally me, all the time, every day of my life. I see you, girl.

Ladies, I know we are all so tired of their bullshjt but remember, they want us to be exhausted. They are literally goading us to try to burn us out so we get fed up and give up. I am so glad women are aiming to fill the ranks by running for office. EVERYBODY VOTE!

I told my kids they could each say ONE time during the week, “Come on, Dad, it’s Spring Break,” and then they would get whatever they were begging for. Usually they kept it in their pocket until the last day and they’d get that morning ice cream.