I’m a full-time stay-at-home dad to my 2-year-old daughter and part-time college student.

Channing, don’t read this...

Can we get a new series, Ask the Rude Negro? Dropping that word count really saves me some time in the mornings.

Is it okay if I’m out with a group but don’t want to order anything? 

I pretty sure Hoover sucks...

I honestly think if you can beat Castelvania 2 *without* a guide (for the first time) you should be scared about the way your mind works.

How do you know this is something you want?

This game is the greatest. Getting to play as Peach was incredibly exciting to me as a young girl.

what are the chances he loses hijab

Even beyond the bigoted message this sent, the crux of this joke has an unintentional grain of truth about the problem with so many in power right now. I will highlight:

Is this an April Fool’s Plank?

If Hillary gets paid for speeches, she’s a greedy bitch. If she gets paid less, she’s a failure. If she goes away (to, say, walk in the woods) she’s ridiculed. If she writes a book. If she trips while on vacation. If she has pneumonia. If she wears makeup. If she doesn’t wear makeup. She’s the patron saint of Women…

David Hogg........take a gap year tbh.

Look, I hear and understand all the talk about pollination. BUT I personally don’t plan to outlive the food supply/ecosystem, so in the short time I remain on earth, I don’t want to shit in a hole. I’m gonna enjoy my plumbing and my unlimited time off as long as it’s not too terrifying and then make my exit via…

I am going to get *so* much mileage out of that gif. (Thanks, Bobby!)

You know, if you had told me 20 years ago that I would agree more with Tom Arnold than Roseanne. I probably would have been somewhat incredulous.

Just seal the squeaker hole with aquarium silicone and water doesn’t get in. Your duckie will float better anyways so win-win.

“Rubber ducky, you’re the one
You’re chock-full of bacteriums
Rubber ducky, I’m disillusioned
With yooou...”

Got to think that Ariel would have been at a pretty high risk for complications what with the fish DNA in the mix.