EYY ILL HAVE YOO KNOW THAT MAHHKY MAHHK AINT NO RACISTS NO MOAH, IN FACT IT IS WIDELY KNOWN THAT IM A FRIEND TO THA GOOK COMMUNITY!

IM THA BIGGEST STAAH HEEAH, THATS THA WAY IT IS. ITS MY BIG DICK, IM READY TAH FACK, EVERYBAWDY GET READY FACKIN NOW!

THATS THA WRONG FACKIN SCENE FAH THIS HOUSE YA QUEEAH.

AW YEEAH MAAHKY MAAHK MIGHT HAFTA BUY THIS HEEAH HOUSE. I THINK I LEFT MY CAWK AROUND THEEAH SOMEWHEEAH.

YEEAH EVERYBAWDY TIME TAH MAKE A DECISHAN HEEAH - EITHAH YOOAH QUEEAH OOAH YOOAH GONNA COME WATCH PATRIOTS DAY! WHAT BETTAH WAY TAH SPEND YAH CHRISTMAS MOOAHNIN THAN TAH GATHAH YAH KIDS AND RELIVE ALL THA HORRAHS OF A TERRAH ATTACK WITH YAH UNCLE MAAHKY MAAHK!
"WE GOTTA FIND THESE GUYS, BEFOAH THEY DO THIS TAH…

I SEEM TAH RECAAHL THAT MAAHKY MAAHK WAS GONNAH BE ALL UP IN THIS MOOVIE. YOU MAY REMEMBER MAAHKY MAAHK FRAWM HIS OTHAH VIDEOGAME MOOVIE MAX PAYNE WHEEAH I SAVED THA WORLD FRAWM MEELAH KOONIS OR SOMETHIN. SO CLEEAHLY I GAWT WICKED EXPERIENCE IN THIS REALM. ALSO I PLAYED A LOTTA PACMAN BACK IN THA DAY SO I DONE MY…

FAH YOOAH INFAMASHUN, MAAAHKY MAAHK HAS BEEN THE STAAH OF MANY BIG PAWPULAH BLAWKBUSTAHS SUCH AS BROKEN CITY, MAX PAYNE, AND THA BIG HIT!

YEEEEAH MAAHKY MAAHK HEEAH FAH HIS MOST IMPOAHTANTIST MOVIE EVAH - WHEEAH I SAVE THA GREAT CITY OF BAWSTAN FROM QUEEAHS. OAH BOMBAHS OAH CAWMMIES. BUT THEY WUZ PROBABLY QUEEAH. WHAT KINDA CAWMMIE WOULD WANNAH BAWMB BAWSTAN? CLEEAHLY THESE QUEEAHS AINT NEVAH BEEN TAH WAHLBURGAHS. NOW TAH MAKE THIS MOOVIE EXTRA WICKED…

MAAHKY MAAHK AWFFERED HIS MUSICAL TALENTS FAH THIS MOOVIE. DIDJOO QUEEAHS KNOW I USED TAH BE A RAPPAH AS WELL AS AN ACTAH? BUT SOME STUDIO WISEGUY SAID PLAYIN GOOD VIBRATIONS 45 TIMES THROUGHOUT THA MOVIE WAS NAWT THA WAY TO GO. SO I CAN RESPECT THIS AAAHTISTIC DECISION AND I CAN CAWNCENTRATE ON MY TRADEMAAHK WICKED…

MAAHKY MAAHK HEEAH ONCE MOAH TAH SAVE THA WORLD FRAWM…OIL? OAH SOME SHIT LIKE THAT. I DUNNO, ITS JUST OIL YA QUEEAHS, IT AINT LIKE GIANT ROBAWTS IS DESTROYIN CITIES OR NOTHIN, LIKE THE DANGAHS I USUALLY FACE. ANYWAY WE ALL KNOW IF MAAHKY MAAHK HAD BEEN ON THIS HEEAH RIG HE WOULDA KICKED THE OILS ASS AND EVERYTHIN…

WHAT THA FAAHK IS STAAAHZ LOL

MAAHKY MAAHK TAWKS WICKED GOOD AND IM SUPAH SMAAHT. HOW ELSE DOO YAH THINK I PICK WICKED SCRIPTS LIKE TRANSFOAHMAS PAAHT FOAH!

AWW THASS A WICKED SMAAHT IDEAH THEEAH BRO, IM GONNAH GO GET THIS TRADEMAAHKED RIGHT NOW!

AW JEEZ I GODDAH DOO ANOTHAH MOOVIE WITH THIS QUEEAH? I WAS IN SOME MOOVIE HE DID I HAAAHT HUCKAHBEES AND I DONT KNOW WHAT THA HELL WAS GOIN AWN THEEAH. A FAHKIN ACADEMY AWAAHD NAWMINEE SUCH AS MYSELF DESERVES BEDDAH! WHEN WE GETTIN STAAHTED AWN TED 3?

BAWXINGS WICKED QUEEAH, AWN THA STREETS WE USED TAH CAWL IT BEATIN. MAAHKY MAAHK DONT NEED NO FAHKIN GLOVES! ILL KICK EVERYBAWDY'S ASS HEEAH!

YEAH FAHKIN A BRO, ALL YOO GOTTA DO WHEN FLYIN IS NAWT HIT NOTHIN. THIS SULLY QUEEAH HITS SOME GOOSES AND SUDDENLY HE'S ALL LIKE A HERO AND SHIT. DID I EVAH TELL YOO WHAT WOULDA HAPPENED ON 9-11 IF IDA BEEN THEEAH?

AYY SULLY YOO STILL OWES ME A BEEAH FRUM WHEN THA SAWX WON THA SERIES! AND WHAT THA HELL, WHOO MADE A MOOVIE ABOUT SULLY? IS THAT THA GUY FROM TURNAH AND HOOCH?

IT'S A CLEEAH FAHKIN OUTRAGE, CHICAAGAH AIN GAWT NOTHIN TAH OFFAH, WHADDA THEY GAWT, THA SAWX? BAWSTANS GAWT THA REAL SAWX! AND SOME FAHKIN LAKE? BIG DEAL, WE GAWT THA SEA OVAH HEEAH. AND FAHK YAH DEEP DISH PIZZA, WE GAWT CHOWDAH, YA HEEAH?

HAWT TIP : MATT DAMONS THE ONE THATS WICKED QUEEAH

FACKIN SULLY THAT QUEEAH STILL OWES ME TWO HUNNAD DAWLLAHS FRAWM WHEN HE BET ON THA SAWX