AW YEAH BRO THIS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYIN TO THA STUDIOS FAH YEEAHS, WE AAH GONNAH RIP AWFF MAAHVEL CAWMICS AND DO ALL LIKE A INTAHCAWNECTED WAHLBERG UNIVERSE, WE AHH GAWNNA HAVE ME, FLASH GAWDAN, VINNIE CHASE, AWPTIMUS PRIME AND TED AAHL FOAHMIN A SOOPAH TEAM TAH SAVE THA WORLD.

EY IF MEELA KOONIS WANTED TAH BE IN THIS HEEAH MOOVIE, SHE SHOULDNA GONE AND GAWT KNAWKED UP BY THAT QUEEAH ASHLEY KETCHUP. WE DONT WANT NO PREGNANT CHICKS AAHL LIKE PUKIN AAHL OVER THA SET.

HEY YA QUEEAH JOO STAHHHTIN SOMETHIN HEEAH? AWNTOOWRAJ WAS MET WITH UNIVERSAL ACCLAIM FRAHM THA MOST PRAWMINENT MOOVIE CRITICS OF AHMERICA. AND BY THAT, I MEAN MY BUDS TOLD ME IT WAS WICKED AWESOME.

AW YEEAH THAT'S ANOTHAH CLASSIC MAAHKY MAAHK CAWMEDY. THAT ONE HAD SAMUEL L JACKSON IN IT, AND AS JOO KNOW, HE'S THA BLACK GUY IN EVERY MOVIE!

YEEAH THA BLAWKBUSTAH OF THA YEEAH IS HEEAH. EVERYBAWDYS FAVORITE FOUL MOUTHED ANIMAL IS BACK! ALSO, THE TEDDY BEEAH IS BACK TOO. HAAAH, JOO SEE WHAT I DID THEEAH? MAHHKY MAAHK IS A TROOH CAWMEDY SOOPAHSTAAH AAHLL LIKE COMIN UP WITH WICKED JOKES AAHLL ON THE SPAWT RIGHT HEEAH. I DUNNO HOO THIS AADOWD QUEEAH IS, IS…

YEEAH THAT'S RIGHT EVERYBAWDY, CAWMEDY SUPAHSTAAAH MAAHKY MAAHK IS HEEAH WITH MY NOO MAAHSTAHPIECE TAH WARM ALL YAH HAAAHTS. I GAHRANTEE ITS EASILY MY FUNNIEST MOOVIE SINCE THA LOVELY BONES. I LIKE THA PAAHT WHEEAH I'M ALL LIKE WALKIN AROUND WITH MY SHIRT AWFF. GEDDA LOADA THAT, LADIES. BUT NO QUEEAHS, JOO BETTAH LOOK…

I WOULD LIKE TAH ENTAH THIS CAWNTEST TAH SEE THIS HEEAH MOVIE, LOOKS WICKED GOOD TAH ME.

THANKS BRO, AAHLWAYS GOOD TAH HEEAH FROM A TROOH FAN AND WELL WISHAH. YEP EVERYBAAWDY, MAAHKY MAAHK IS FAAHTY FAAH TAHDAY. I'M AAHL TRYIN TO GET JUNE 5 ESTABLISHED AS A NATIONAL HAWLIDAY, MAAHKY MAAHK DAY, BUT OBAAMAHS BEEN ALL WICKED BUSY AND AINT CAAHLIN ME BACK.
SO GIVE YAH OLD PAL A PRESENT, AND GIVE YAHSELF A…

IRAWNIC DAWLLAHS? WHADDA FACK JOO TAAHLKIN ABOUT? DAWLLAHS MADE OUTTA IRON AINT FAH REAL, THEY GODDA BE PAPAH, YA QUEEAH.

AW YEEAH ITS ALWAYS AAAAHSOME TAH SEE THA TROOH FANS ENJOYIN SOME CLASSIC AWNTOORAJ. STILL, WATCHIN 96 EPISODES AAHL IN A ROW IS FAH QUEEAHS, YOO GOTTA WATCH AAHL 96 EPISODES TWICE IN A ROW. ME AND DAWNNY DOES THIS AAHL THA TIME. HOW ELSE YOO GONNAH PICK UP ALL THEM SUBTLE REFERENCES AND KEEP UP WITH THA AWNGOIN…

AW YEEAH HEEAH WE CAN SEE SOME CLASSIC MAAHKY MAAHK ACTIN, HEEAH I AM DEEP IN THOUGHT ALL PONDERIN THA MYSTERIES OF THA UNIVERSE.

AWESOME, THA AV CLUB GIVES AWNTOOWRAAJ A D, FAH DELIGHTFUL. MAAHKY MAAHK HEEAH TAH RECAHHMEND YOO AAHL GO CHECK OUT AWNTOOWRAAJ THA MOVIE IN THEEATAHS THIS WEEKEND. I WORKED WICKED HAAHD TAH POAHTRAY THAT CLASSIC AWNTOOWRAAJ CHARACTAH "MARK WAHLBERG". I DID AAHLL MY RESEEEARCH AND DID AAHL KINDSA READIN ABOUT THIS…

TROO STAAHRY, I WAS ALL IN THEEAH AUDITIONIN FAH BATMAN FAH ZACK SNYDAH, I WAS ALL "I'M BATMAN YA QUEEAH, YOO WANNA PIECE A ME?" BUT I GUESS THEY COULDN'T HANDLE MY RADICAL REINTERPRETATION OF THIS ICAWNIC CHARACTAH. AND TAH ADD INSULT TAH INJAHRY, THEY GAVE IT TO BEN AFFLECK, GUESS THEY WANTS BATMAN TAH BE A QUEEAH…

HEY WHERE DJOO GETAWFF TELLIN MAAHKY MAHHK HOWDA SPEAK PROPAH? I BEEN TALKIN WICKED GOOD FAH YEEAHS NOW. I GAWTS MY HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMAH AT AGE FAAHTY-TWO SO I AINT NO RETAAAHD!

BUMBALBEEH IS WICKED QUEEAH, AINT NOBAWDY WANTS TAH SEE HIM IN HIS OWN MOVIE. I HADDA SHARE A TRAILAH WITH THIS FACKIN GOOF AND HE TAKES LIKE FIVE HOWAAHS IN THA MAKEUP CHEEAH EVERY MAAHNIN. NAW, WE AAH DOIN A SPINAWFF ABOUT MY MUCH BAH-LOVED CHARACTAH CALE YEAGAH FROM TEXAS. EVERYBAWDY LOVED MY WICKED CONVINCIN…

YEEAH WE GAWT ALL KINDSA NOO TRANSFAWMAHS MOVIES AND LOTSA SPINAWFFS, ITS GONNA BE WICKED AWESOME. WE AAAH GONNA CREATE A SHARED WAHLBERG UNIVERSE WITH TRANSFAWMAHS MEETIN AWNTOOWRAJ AND TED. I AWLREADY GOTS THA FIRST SCENE, ME AND TED AND FLASH GAAHDAN IS ALL SITTING ON THE COUCH AND THEN AWPTIMUS PRIME WAAHLKS IN…

YEAH FACKIN A RIGHT, MAAHKY MAAHK WOULD BE A WICKED POPE, ID BE ALL LIKE POPE PAUL III, INITIATIN THA COUNCIL OF TRENT WHOSE DEFINITIONS OF DAWCTRINE AND WHOSE REFAAHMS SEALED THA TRIUMPH OF THA PAPACY OVAH ELEMENTS IN THE CHURCH THAT SAAUGHT CONCILIATION WITH PRAWTESTANTS AND OPPOSED PAPAL CLAIMS.

NAH THATS DAWNNYS JOB

YOAH WISH IS MY COMMAAAHND, OR SOMETHIN. MAAHKY MAAHK'S BIN BUSY AAHL DAY DOIN SOME WICKED IMPAAHTANT STUFF BUT I AAALWAYS GOT TIME FAH TROOH FANS

WHO HEEAHS MAKIN FUNNA BAWSTAN? JOO TRY THAT SHIT IN DAWCHESTAH YOOD CATCH A WICKED BEATIN!