God damnit it. Chris Evans and Tom Hanks still safe? And John Oliver? At this point there the only dudes in the industry that I can rely on 

The south MAYBE. Not likely the NORTH. Here in Canada most of our illegal weapons are purchased legally in the US and smuggled North.  I assure you, YOUR country is the source of our illegal gun problem.

Ummmm we export guns to Mexico...

“If anyone is looking for a good lawyer, I would strongly suggest that you don’t retain the services of Michael Cohen!”

I know the evidence is flimsy, but I’m starting to think that Trump guy is a complete cunt.

“you just made a lot assumptions in this last one.”

What about all the carbon dioxide they could have sold that they now have to replace, huh? You think carbon dioxide grows on trees? Oh ho ho, quite the opposite, my friend.

Time scale was more poetic than geologic, but there’s always a gif

Shit, talk about a missed opportunity.

I got here as soon as I could, Matt.

“As a co-signatory with our former CEO, I take personal responsibility to bring the public debate on this matter to an end.”

I’m a white lady saying this is despicable. Experiencing discrimination because of your gender ought to teach you empathy for those who have been discriminated because of race...I don’t actually even KNOW what the statement she’s trying to make in this is...I guess that she identifies more with what puts her in power…

In this day and age, if you can have a 4 door coupe, why not a 2 door sedan? Boy, I remember when words used to mean things.

Also, after the WH press corps soiled itself over Michelle Wolf calling Sarah Sanders a liar, Giulani just confirmed that, yes, she’s been lying to them for months. Do you think any of them will call her on it?

This is the most depressing picture ever taken at Kent State.

Notes with important information on them that’ hard to remember? Or notes on how to act human, fuck off fuck face

How can you say you support freedom if 58,873 people in a stadium stand, but 8 don’t, and you claim the entire event is now anti-military? Demanding 100% conformity is not supporting freedom.

Fucking this.

Best $200 I've ever spent on my new homes. Saved our oven and fridge from certain death after a nearby lightning strike (our neighbors were not so lucky).