As the worst mascot ever, I demand sad blob justice.

Think I mentioned this before, but I was really bored one night and caught Solo on TBS or something, broken up into 7 minute minute chunks over the course of 3 or 4 hours, I realized - they never should have made it a movie. Too much backstory to plow through, too many new characters that don’t get enough time.…

Now do one with all 8 seasons of Futurama, even the movies and the videogame ‘episode’ and the 22 minute Hypnotoad. Especially the 22 minute Hypnotoad.

Yes... yes... hookers and blackjack...

I feel for her, but man what a bad movie. The plot is nonsense, the actors do their best - Kristin Wiig is phenomenal when she gets chance, and Barbara had some interesting layers, even if she couldn’t quite pull off the slinky post-wish confidence. Heck, even Gal Gadot tried, unfortunately her only choices, given…

Played by Dean Norris

Yeah the Canto Bight section is too long, too slow, and ends with one of those terrible cgi stampedes that only cgi artists seem to like. There are interesting themes introduced, but it’s a slog, and diminishes the rest of the film somewhat. Not a failure, just a black mark.

No shit, I caused a pandemic just so that one guy in my office would stop talking about this.

“Hey kids, did you like episodes 1-3?”

Yeah but it would be great for the whiny babies who are afraid that Amazon will add Game of Thrones level sex and violence. “Well, see Turin stripped an elf lord naked and hounded him to his death, then took over a band of outlaws who were about to rape a maiden, then accidentally killed his elf best friend, and all…

I for one can’t wait to see Cirdan the Shipwright! Yeah!

Man if they’d just had him in a full long beard in the flashback scenes, and have him, like, cut it off in dishonor after they went into exile or something, I could live with it. Especially considering how beards as a general thing became way more accepted in the culture at the time. And during lockdown pretty much…

And the Albino Orc and the extended barrel escape and the Master’s Assistant and the Dwarf riding the Pig and those fucking Wereworm things jesus fucking christ what a fucking mess!  

Well this scene is in the book, but all that stuff about Gandalf and Galadriel attacking Dol Guldur and the bird shit on Radagast’s face and whatever was going on with Tauriel and Legolas jumping around like Mario wasn’t , so that could all go...

Which is what Celebrimbor said just before he was tortured to death, shot full of arrows, and hung on a pole as a banner for Sauron’s forces during the War fo the Ring. Game of Thrones is really pretty tame in comparison.

I believe there’s six or eight  hours of intermingling lights when they were both lit. And yes I mean Aule and Yavanna, those high-ons.

This is frankly why I’d rather watch the latest superhero movie than yet another Willis or Stallone or Schwarzenegger or more appropriately one of those other interchangeable b-string 80's/90's action guys... (your Van Dammes or Seagals) Those movies were truly terrible most of the time, enlivened by a single decent…

Dang why do even animated Cardassian females gotta be so hot?
Just me?

A friend of mine got together 20 or so people and rented a small theater at a local MJR for like $300 to watch Black Widow the week it premiered. So that’s like $15 per person to have a group of vaccinated friends hanging out safely, getting slightly tipsy, watching a fun movie that benefitted from a big screen. The…

Harry Potter and the Twenty Minute Exposition Dump in Dumbledore’s Office.

That’s exactly what it was: listening to the Architect drone on, but in Dumbledore’s office.