This is literally the same way a video game handles it and nobody complains about that.

I suggested Rob Manfred Is A Fucking Terrorist for the headline but Redford is his own man.

I saw Star Wars Ep 2 in the theater, and at one point Anakin says to Padme, “Are you suffering as much as I am?” Some national treasure yelled out “Yes!” and the entire theater burst out laughing. It was cinematic perfection.

 He’s writing to his audience.

We need to get to the bottom of this. I suggest writing a letter to the ol’ guy:

First, there is such a thing as Mentos gum. My kids go batshit crazy at Target when they see it and I don’t buy it for them. Here’s some Juicy Fruit, assholes.

It’s gonna be legal and it’s gonna be damn near free. I have already cut my prices very much down from where they were. Weed has had no inflation since like the 90s! It doesn’t pay to sell weed man but it does give you lots of weed also... silver lining.

So he was a hipster?

Once legal weed sweeps the nation, they’ll call those bags what they are: ounce bags.

Do they not have tacos in Argentina?

“The only way San Antonio or Miami don’t win the championship is if neither team makes the finals.” - Magic Johnson

This is great advice if you never want to advance. I have climbed the ladder by being slightly above mediocre and pleasant to everyone. Say hello every day, thank every person involved in a project (especially if they barely did anything) and go to every social event (but only stay for like 30-45 minutes). Also switch…

The best advice I got as an engineering intern was “for the first three years, go to every happy hour / holiday party / lunch / kickball game.” It will make a huge difference come the inevitable layoff purges or when you’re looking for the next gig and SURPRISE! one of your former co-workers happens to be there too.

or you could practice on advancing your “ soft skills” and learn to be a personable, approachable human being, despite your differences, and learn that, yes you just might have things in common, and having a healthy network in your office, despite not actually liking anyone, can be extremely helpful

Thank you for giving your co-workers a handy guide on how to keep a healthy distance from you.

Yeah, they can fuck right the fuck off. Anybody who shows up just to win is a dick. ‘Course, I suck and got yelled at a lot through the years.

*Facepalm. I know way too many of these people. It’s always accompanied by some shitty “professional” linkedin photo of them in a suit, then they post inspirational quotes on Facebook or change their status to “rise and grind” at least once a week.

Gomez Adams really let himself go. Was he drinking nerve tonic?

Counterpoint — Exxon’s $400mm man:

Nah. My CEO works his ass off, at least 12 hours a day, is on call and working much more often than I am. Does a good job of insulating the staff from most of the stupid-crazy people.