The “one of us” thing is very real, and I hate it so so much. Anytime there is a job opening for one of the local teams, the main concern is “what connection does he have to Minnesota?” like it actually fucking matters. The next HC of the Vikings could have Bill Belichick apply, and another coach who attended…

Dan is most certainly on the kill list...

Please write a disclaimer on this article. My laptop just exploded from loading this hot take.

Makes a ton of sense. Lochte had to have been tipped off and got the hell out of there. If I were Feigen and the other bros I’d be pissed at him for letting them out to dry in fucking Brazil.

Wow. That looked like a Bubble Tape measure HR!

I guess my last tweet would be “Just created a Twitter! Time to see what this is about.”

Some WYTS articles have been sad, others preposterous - still looking at you Darius for saying Atlanta is the most tortured sports city.

The Bills sound like a party I want to join!

How did you women get access to a computer and the internet? Us men didn’t teach you that, yet.

I would argue that adopting a dog has given my dick more friends to hang out with than ever before! She’s a magnet.

Holy shit. Brick just killed a guy with a trident!

Dude, had to give up on Hot Pockets for good for these reasons... There’s NO MIDDLE GROUND! I just want a god damn warm hot pocket. Not one that’s half burning lava and half frozen pepperoni bite..

You and me both, brother. Hipsters always have to ruin a good thing going. Once they cross the line with Mexican food, there needs to be a revolution.

Darius,

Settle the fuck down on “Most tortured sports city in America”

Signed,

Minnesota Sports fans.

I usually solve this problem by finding a baby boomer or Gen-Xer to put their hands over mine in pictures. Makes me look TOUGH and RUGGED.

Hey, don’t you be putting Mexican food on the millenials. That shit is delicious for people of all ages!

The other stuff, yeah that sounds about right.

Hot Pockets should be #1 with a bullet on food items that burn the fuck out of your mouth. I refuse to eat them now after years of having that sauce and cheese lava boil the insides of my mouth.

There is a serious shortage of game show hosts....

ABC’s Game Show Night hosts are a mixed bag of dreadful. Alec Baldwin does nothing for me... Michael Strahan can eat a bag of dicks. Jane Lynch would not be within 100 miles of that set if they weren’t paying her obscene amounts of money.

Pat Sajak and Alex Trebek can…

Nobody can beat 0-16! Well, they could, but the Lions were the first!

One of my favorite Lions moments:

As much as I want to rebut, you’re not wrong... And now I’m going to go cry myself to sleep.

You’re not too far off from Minnesota Math. This is the same state and government that thought e-pulltabs was going to solve all of their problems funding the new stadium.

I believe e-pulltabs up to date have generated $7.42 in revenue....