Yeah I guess I didn’t think about that.

As a person who routinely gets leftover vomit stuck in my nose, I’m going to take this advice to heart next time I drink too much. Nothing worse than those leftovers plugging you up when you’re trying to pass out at 3 AM....

Is this a thing? I’ve never heard people keeping open bottles of ketchup out of the refrigerator...

“but am I wrong here?”

You’re not wrong, Zach. You’re just an asshole.

Nah, an old-fashioned outhouse will suffice. I’d prefer to shit on Paterno’s grave, not piss on it.

I’m 25. Pokemon was cool during late elementary school days. So this should be in my wheelhouse. Instead I don’t give a shit about this game.

Counterpoint: This looks like the 2016 Minnesota Twins team to me.

Weird, someone who has no issue kicking a man in the balls ALSO has no issue slapping people in nightclubs? You don’t say.....

Bartolo Colon is a god damn treasure. We only have a year or so left watching him crush dingers. CHERISH IT!

Did Barry ever meet up with the ball hawking guy for coffee, drinks, or to go to a game?

I feel you. As a Gophers fan with no horse to back in that game, that punt return was oh so delicious to see.

Still, that bat flip man. People will still talk about that bat flip years after Joey Bats retires from baseball.

Bat Flip or get the fuck out.

Jim Tomsula’s new roommate? He would know how to be crafty with garbage....

Kill, fuck, marry:

Dan Snyder, Joe Lacob, Stan Kroenke

Who’s conducted the best practical joke so far this year on the Deadspin staff?

1998 Minnesota Vikings season. 8 years old at the time not knowing that was one of the best offenses put together in NFL history... Randy Moss taking the league by storm his rookie season. And my first heart break with Minnesota sports thanks to Gary Anderson’s wide fucking left chip shot FG in the NFC Championship.

That’s probably true. Though he’s one of the best at saying “The call could go this way, and this is why...” Or “I could be wrong, and they’ll call it this way because...”

In other words he was a hell of a lot better than Mike Carey, who seemed to just stare into space until they called him on camera.

All I know is I’m going to need Mike Pereira explain what a catch is to me at least 30 times this upcoming season. And I still won’t be able to say definitively whether or not I witnessed a catch.

Sooo what about sideline catches in order to get the first down/TD, and they’re immediately pushed out of bounds. Is that no longer a catch?

How Jim Tomsula didn’t make this list is a goddamn travesty.