small talk on Tinder/Bumble is the goddamn worst. Believe me, girl I’m chatting with on either of those apps, I’m just as bored as you asking “What do you like to do outside of work?”

Or, you know, just smoke a bowl and chill out man.

The list of athletes I refuse to cheer for is growing more than the list of athletes I like. Is this what it’s like to grow up?

Could have fooled me. Those look like fresh out of the box New Balance sneaks.

That’s a similar story I hear most every weekend from meat heads at the bars. The old “I was going to walk on to Florida State, but I shredded my ankle and was cut the next season.” Didn’t realize Florida State invited 12,000 people to try out for their football team!

One thing that Texas has going for them (which isn’t much on the grand scheme of things) is being able to purchase wine/beer in all grocery stores, including Sundays after 12:00 PM. I always thought that law was ass-backwards living in Minnesota where no beer/alcohol could be purchased on Sundays.

That makes too much sense for it to actually be implemented. The whole e-pulltabs thing has always been a terrible idea that even politicians had to know wouldn’t raise enough money. Taxing booze on Sundays would be a real solution to the public funding the state will need in order to pay for the new stadium.

*Andrea Bargnani wakes up, reads about Whiteside, Mozgov, Noah, and Drummond contract terms*
*Gets an erection*
*Slowly starts jerking to the thought of making $18-20 million a year*
*Feels a pop in his elbow, out 4-6 months*

Already looked into that. The Cleveland Spiders in 1899 were 20-134... The modern day record is the 1962 New York Mets who went 40-120.... The Minnesota Twins franchise worst record was in 1982 who went 60-102... So us fans have a lot to look forward to!

This video is a very accurate depiction of how the Minnesota Twins season is going.

You do that Zack. Keep #grinding... It’s not that my life is so much more entertaining, but his hobby is the worst choice of them all.

This supposed “grown” man is whining about not catching a baseball, and actively pushes children out of the way to catch them? Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy so.much.

If Fox Sports really wants to make an impact in the 18-49 demographic, make your channel easier to stream. I’ve cut the cord and in the demographic. There’s a 0% chance I will ever see this show or any show on FS1 until they start streaming a-la-carte.

My exact thought process. If this were a lifetime achievement award, Snyder and Loria are first ballot HOF. For the year 2015, Kroenke fucked over the city of St. Louis with no remorse.

Fuck the Cardinals. But even more so, fuck the Royals.

This may be the most accurate list I’ve seen on Deadspin. LeBron is fucking terrible at golf.

Don’t pretend you had a hand in the victory. Oh, you stuck by your boys this whole time? Guess what? No one gives a shit, not even the team itself. Don’t tell me you always believed in them, because I know you’re lying. And don’t try to force your sad fan credentials on me, like you have a bunch of Purple Hearts…

Correct. There are too many teams that free agents refuse to go to where they’ll never put together a title contending team.

Write-in candidate: Terry Ryan for the Minnesota Twins.

I wouldn’t play under the tag either if I were him. When did the Broncos become the thrift store of the NFL? Fucking PONY UP!