Ha! At my first job we had a “crazy letters file” that was shared among several customer service departments. Every time we got a good one we’d photocopy it and pass it on (sneakily). You have to make your own fun at work.

I actually got 4 or 5 notes on how nice I was, that I was funny and made their experience better and all of that. That was the only negative one that I ever received. I got a really nice one once from a couple that both came in in wheelchairs. They drank so much pink lemonade that I brought them out a pitcher, but set…

I had someone leave me a note at Red Lobster that said “Hopefully, receiving no tip from us teaches you that you should not be so flippant with your customers. We did not appreciate being called “folks” and “guys”. Refer to your customers as sir or ma’am in the future.” Dude, you’re at RED LOBSTER. I was wearing a…

Always have your Daria references at the ready — that’s my motto.

Oh yes. People throw it out to end the “debate” about tipping. “Well, tips means to insure prompt service...” and I get to say “if that were true it would be ‘ensure’ not ‘insure’” and then begins the baffled silence.

You’ve actually had people use that phrase with you before?

I love the expression on various faces when I point out that if that pool shift acronym were a real thing, it would be T.E.P.S.

California Pizza Kitchen. Know these things, and tremble.

“I hope you get eaten by a dragon”. Now that is a good insult.

How can you tell a vegan?

You and I share the same customers, clearly.

You guys are getting really creative with the insults tonight. I love it.

Alright... it’s the Internet, and it’s anonymous, and this place sounds super weird and crazy. What is it called??? I NEED TO KNOW

People were commenting on break.com’s version of the article with the phrase “TIPS: To insure prompt service”. Butchering of the English language aside, what the hell? Like servers and waiters have control over how long it takes the kitchen to make things.

I worked at that same place. It really didn’t happen that often, but at least 1/2 the time when it did it was that damn curry pizza.

It was not fabulous in my opinion, but when the company switched the dough to something closer to an actual bread product people bitched like you would not believe. Yes, random sugar loving customer, I personally changed the dough recipe. I did this to ruin your day. YOU ARE WELCOME.

The thing was, our pizza dough used honey (probably because the sweeter dough when combined with the metric ton of sugar used in the marinara created a pizza more like candy than food).

In all seriousness? If Comedy Central picked up BCO for a sketch comedy show formatted exactly like Drunk History, in that they pick a central narrator for each tale and real household-name actors dramatize the story and lipsync the dialog... I WOULD WATCH THE SHIT OUT OF THAT.

I had a customer once that told me, upon sitting down, that she was vegan. No problem, it was California and I was used to that. The thing was, our pizza dough used honey (probably because the sweeter dough when combined with the metric ton of sugar used in the marinara created a pizza more like candy than food). We…

Next week will be Revenge, so while not light, it’ll definitely be cathartic.