I once peed in my cat’s litterbox cause I didn't want to put pants on. GET ON MY LEVEL JLAW

I just bitched about happy couples walking across the street too slowly in my tourist town, so calling soon-to-be-weds a couple of losers made me legit LOL. I feel like I’m being called to the mothership.

“Kate Winslet doesn’t find therapy helpful. Fuck her!”

I refuse to believe there is a single adult alive who hasn’t peed in a sink. You can say you haven’t, but you’re a liar.

I love how you just gave up, mid-comment.

Whatever, she’s aging well. No shame in saying so.

Can we talk about J.Lo for a moment? I know nobody cares about my stupid boner (deservedly so), but man oh man she just keeps getting more gorgeous. I always hear outrageous stuff that she slathers herself in creams that cost $10,000 an ounce that are made from angel farts and unicorn tears and I get annoyed, then I…

Ooooooooo I can’t wait for The Knick to come back!!!

WHEN will Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio realize that their relationships don’t work out because they just need to get together, already

Some parents will do anything to keep you in their control. Mine tried to pay my husband to abandon me, as they were/are convinced that he is after my money. Then I was meant to live with them forever and not work.

This was my question- how long do they allow the baby to reside with her? If there’s a good chance she’ll get regular visitation while incarcerated & custody of her daughter after she’s released, that’s a nice program.

My maternal grandmother routinely used threats of suicide to get her way on seemingly normal things (like my aunt getting her own place after she finished college rather than moving back home) with her children. It was sad and gross. Her funeral a few years ago was such an odd experience. Rather than celebrating her…

My mom threatened to kill herself when I cut her out. I can relate to the difficulty of dealing with people who are mentally unwell who also happen to be your parent. It’s an absolute nightmare.

Well the “talk then die” is an epidural bleed or it could've been a subdural that rebled, it really depends on his symptoms when he got off the field and in transport

See, right here we have a medical professional saying it was probably subarachnoid bleed. This kid’s death, while tragic, was caused by spiders not football.

I’ve actually revived old mascara that was old and cakey by blow drying the tube for a bit. This probably makes the bacteria aspect worse, but I've really only ever done it when I was in a pinch.

Yup. This is me, and this is why I don’t give a fuck about expiration dates. The only makeup I throw away is the stuff that’s dried out (eyeliner and mascara, sometimes eyeshadow if it’s that old) or grown discolored or separated (foundation/concealer). I still have some of my mom’s old lipstick from the 80’s that I…

The average person only has 40 makeup products?!

I realized the other day that the lipstick I have in my purse is at least seven years old. And my purse is a gross receptacle of child cast-offs like gum, old suckers, and snotty kleenex. That lipstick is literally a fucking biohazard, but I still use it. I figure it just strengthens my immune system.

Everyone traces back to one woman from the early 19th Century, Altagracia Carrasco; she married 4 times and had a large number of children, probably what helped fix her genetic trait into the community.