This dude and his brie sound awesome. Screw the subway-cheese-haters.

Every time some dumbfuck whiteboy says some dumbfuck whiteboy shit every other dumbfuck whiteboy calls it satire like a big dumbfuck.

Lindy - I don't know what you received/ presented/ honored last night but it looks very grown up and I'm going to take this opportunity to tell you that you are awesome. You make me laugh everyday and usually manage to make me a little smarter too. Also, I will now have sprite hidden in my fridge (silly me for…

WAIT. Lindy. Is that you being hugged by Jane Fonda?

I am coming out of exile to say that if ANYTHING deserves to prompt a hangover sprite, it's MFING JANE FONDA GIVING YOU AN AWARD, you badass human being!

I just got one and it has BAT WINGS ON IT

BABY LEASH HATERS GONNA HATE MADELEINE!

I love it when men get all indignant when they find out their wife is cheating. Even though they themselves admit to being a pussy chaser and bad husband.

Chris Brown has a singular talent for making it impossible to sympathize with him even if he’s recounting a vaguely traumatic incident from his childhood. You know, like that time he lost his virginity to teenage girl. When he was eight.

Please don't promote any comments which accuse him of lying. That's not how we treat potential victims of sexual assault round here y'all. Thanks!

"vaguely traumatic"? The hell, Doug Barry?

I think you guys should just act like gay men and stop giving a shit about what people think of you. We objectify each other every second at the club, we explore our sexuality shamelessly, and we wear whatever the fuck we want because we want it not because of what "society" thinks.

Society has barely started moving…

Female nudity is still shocking if the female in question isn't young, thin and beautiful.

Gaaahh, I SPECIFICALLY ASKED my boyfriend before we started shooting, "Wait, do I have purple wine teeth?" and he was like, "NOOO!" all exasperated.

I think I'd much rather live in a world where people are desensitised to female nudity rather than one in which female nudity is considered a shocking big deal, an affront against moral standards that must justify itself by making a statement about sex/power/whatever. So if Rihanna is going to make that happen for me,…

I didn't think I could love Lindy any more than I already did, but Drunk Lindy takes the cake. The SPAM-flavored cake.

Lindy, you're my favorite, anything, ever.

I'm going to listen to this, and it goes without saying that I adore Miseducation. But her last track... aside from sounding like an unfocused, stream-of-consciousness rant, it bothered me in a number of ways.

I feel like, deep down, there's a fancy Mexican in all of us.

right! We're all just fancy mexican.