Orphan remains my greatest moviegoing experience. It was just a so-so thriller, but at the big reveal a tween/early-teen girl sitting down the row from us stood up and shouted ESTHER GOT TITTIES at the top of her lungs. It was incredible and probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed in public.

You are right, it is worse than a baby holiday, it is “Christian” + Florida + emergency-don’t-ask-questions

I feel like if I don’t forward this on to ten friends, she will come after my family.

The best I can work out:

OK what the fuck.... it’s 11pm in CO.  I’m about to go to sleep here. This kind of thing can NOT be posted at this hour

“Barnett grew more alarmed when she saw the little girl naked for the first time.

Because they "adopted" her illegally 

“By then, however, Barnett says Natalia had vanished and stopped returning her calls.

I’m very confused. Why would parents go to such great lengths to prove their adopted daughter was actually an adult when they could have put her in foster care because they clearly were incapable of caring for her? It’s such an elaborate lie!

Thanks. I was about to go to sleep. Now I have to stay awake to fend off Ukrainian orphans holding sharp objects. 

i don’t have to hand him shit.

This is not normal. Please don't normalize it.

You don’t have to praise a fascist, nobody is forcing you to.

That’s some good parenting! Good for Promise, and good for her Mom!

Don't let anyone dull your shine Promise! She's got an awesome mom in her corner too. No one should be shamed for their hair like that.

“If you don’t talk about corruption, why would you give money to a country that you think is corrupt?”

See, I totally agree. And I would also say that the idea of being a “bitch” is a nebulous one, and that you can use it to describe a boss-ass bitch who knows what direction they are going and will drag you along with, or a petty whiny bitch who complains endlessly and doesn’t even remember his own son. Warren is…

Finally! A platform I can get behind.

I *guarantee* you she styles herself. She always looks so uncomfortable, like she can’t breathe. I mean, spanx are our friends ladies, I wear them, but sweet baby Jesus, don’t suffocate yourself so you can’t sit down girl. Maybe that’s why she’s so angry, lack of oxygen...

You know who she should really be mad at? The stylist who put her in that purple matchy-matchy mess.