Where's Fahey when you need him? I demand a snacktaku review! For science!

I have to buy these for someone as a joke gift!

There is certainly a market for these kind if characters and these kind of relationships in fiction. Look at the "forceful" romance novels that are a dime a dozen on amazon. Half of them don't even have humans being the forceful ones.

It would be sort of a Valve thing to do, but I'm not holding my breath.

Thats what I was thinking, talk about a way to announce it. Just like "Half Life 3?" and he'd respond "March 03, 2014" and the internet would blow up.

Give it one hundred years and kids will look at a smartphone like its the Antikythera mechanism, assuming we aren't chewing on raw rats for sustenance while avoiding fallout showers.

Just like Kotaku, then?

Adam Sessler (@AdamSessler) should be on here.

Zoe Quinn (@zoequinnzel) Indie developer (Depression Quest, most famously)

Both SEGA and Square Enix have been fairly decent at porting their mobile releases to Windows Phone (months later, but with 3% market share, ya can't really blame them), so I imagine we'll probably get this around August. Maybe. Hopefully. Perhaps?

No nipples, no sale.

Apparently I have to...

Saw this on the front page, came just to link this song. Damn you.

Eu pc version is not censored. It's only for the peasant consoles.

Luckily this won't affect me since I'm gonna buy the PC version of the game. Article was a bit misleading since it's only the console versions that's censored, but doesn't really matter since you had the original text in the article.

son of a dick that is hilarious

ICPenis at 2:50 and the hatchet man running with a penis at 2:51. Good stuff.

Quick, to the Ashens phone!

Holy shit... this comment made my day