Most historical clothing makes me cringe when I think of how uncomfortable it must of been. But this robe de chambre looks more comfortable than what I’m wearing right now.

Versace is not Forever 21. Versace clothing is handmade in Italy, not a sweatshop in China.

I don’t trust anyone that goes to a chiropractor.

That’s amazing and very illuminating.

I mean, why can’t you be drunk on HSN? I know I’ve never watched it sober, so I would probably enjoy the feeling of solidarity if the presenters were also drunk.

And if Jessica Simpson was drunk, who the fuck cares? Let he or she who has never been day drunk cast the first stone.

Nick Lachey is truly pathetic, isn’t he? The only way for him to stay in the spotlight is to talk shit about and concern troll his ex-wife aka the only reason anyone knows his name.

I thought it said “feminine but with a chubby edge.” Like maybe because they’re not bodycon dresses and you can move around in them? It’s chubby, edgy realness.

Hotels are the most fucked up places ever. Please go camping instead.

I guess my invitation to their GOP Debate Party got lost in the mail :(

I once was told by a waitress that I look like Jessica Biel (I do not), despite my firm non-Bielesque appearance she got the biggest tip I’ve ever given.

Jessica Biel: while this is a worthy endeavor, you, much like the word fetch, are never going to happen.

The solution is to only be Facebook friends with people who are actually your friends. Then it’s a great way to share photos, recipes, jokes, or whatever it is that you and your friends like to share.

A friend of mind who is married and without children made a joke on Facebook the other day about how First Day of School photos make him happy to be childless and of course everyone took that as an invitation to be like “Hahaha just you wait! You’ll change your mind! I know you secretly really want kids!”

I don't blame you. I used to go into my sisters room when she wasn't there and do it. It's like bubble wrap, you just have this desire to pop it. No clue how at age 4 I even knew you could pop a Barbie's head off, but oh how I popped off so many heads.

WHAT IS SEX

I look forward to popping the head off this Barbie as well.

Ha... I didn’t know about it until a potential client told me about it! As far as I know, my clients realize that a DWI doesn’t reflect on my ability to clean a house. No burglaries, home invasions, etc. :)

There’s one that does that with mug shots too. :( If you google my full name, my actual mug comes up. I forget how much it is to remove it because I just don’t want to “find” it again. It is the ONE time I’ve been glad I’ve been called by my middle name since birth, since not everyone knows my first one and the people…

• Exactly!!!