If Trump puts in Dolly as head of FEMA I might actually gain a sliver of respect for him.

You know we had a really good run. But it’s done. I’m calling it. Let’s all just go our separate ways. All of the states can just be their own country.

I’d be cool with two countries - red vs. blue states. We could have a televised reality competition to see whose policies work better.

“Pay up or mortgage!”

Except she didn’t say we had to give him a chance. She said we had to give EACH OTHER a chance. Which, sure, includes Donald Trump, but it’s definitely not the full-throated support flowerchild suggests she gave. Dolly also pointed out that when things go wrong, we need to step in and make them right. Sounds like she…

Okay, Paula Deen fucked me over on substitute pseudo-grandmas, so I will say this for Dolly. She has literally never said a bad thing about another human being even once in her life.

She gave a much more subtle answer. She said we need to give each other a chance.

She talked about how next year will be a year of change, and when something goes wrong, we need to make sure we step in and make it right, but meanwhile we need to give each other a chance.

now dolly parton and i are in a fight.

We gotta gut it out like Monopoly, gilbert - no quitting until all your property is hopelessly leveraged and everyone realizes what a selfish jerk Dad can be.

Everyone pays a price in Trump’s Dumbfuckistan.

Hey, what did duct tape ever do to you to deserve that?

Gabrielle, I love you, but now that you have compared Donald Trump with National Treasure Dolly Parton, you and I are in a fight. :(

Duct tape is strong, but I expect that would soon balloon out, forming a giant straining ball, before exploding with such force everyone in the room suffered severe lacerations and shrapnel wounds.

Is there really any point in continuing this thing (i.e, America)?

This tape would be so much better.

I too am embarrassed x2 (I live in Fl)

Right, like why? Why would they waste the tremendous effort in the most liberal state in America? But people are still saying though, google it!

Maria took two real American’s jobs. When she’s not subsisting on white baby tears after her 16 hour workday, she’s hacking the very sophisticated voter registration database, census records, and dmv database to make sure she and her fellow illegals can vote more welfare for themselves, that they are totally not…

There is really no reaching out to these people. They believe Obama is a secret Muslim, who somehow has not destroyed America despite having access to nuclear weapons for the past 8 years. If he was a secret Muslim, wouldn’t he at the very least stopped giving aid to Israel? But people are saying though, google it!