It’s Friday. My girlfriend is out of town for the weekend. I have the place to myself, and I’m going to try and make this. I already have a bagel cookbook, so I can get the dough/boiling part down. I will let you all know how it turns out. If I never post again, well... someone else will need to pick up the Torch (no…

I feel you. BUT what I also dislike MORE, as I get older and older, is the way my body reacts to drinks 3 and 4 the next day, as if I have chugged a bottle of rat poison.

A bottle or red, a bottle of white.

One time at band.....

HAH! I love that picture.

OMG, let go of my hand! Like bitch, was your hand not just in my hair? Go on trick.

I've actually spat on someone who touched my hair on the subway, albeit on their pants, not their face. When asked why I did it, I said I wanted to feel his leg.

So, me then?

I don’t, but I also don’t really like remote areas anyway so I tend to jog in areas where other people are around. I also keep my ID and medical insurance card on me, just in case.

Which makes me wonder why they spend 90% of the memo talking about closing or tapping the hydrants illegally.

So what they are saying is that if you can fill it up without using a hydrant... game on.

Word. And for that matter, my cat is a mean motherfucker who regulates every person who comes in the apartment.

Let’s be honest here. Words and meanings change and there’s no way that the average speaker knows the original meaning when they use pussy. Pussy is now a euphemism for Vagina. And people use it pejoratively to mean weak. Including Clint.

Motion to change colloquial word for “weak” from “pussy” to “balls,” seconded. Those opposed are balls as fuck.

You’re beautiful; this comment is really, really, great- it's the best comment. It’s making KINJA great again!

“Except it wasn’t really a horse, but a mangy goat covered in rotten marmalade who thinks he’s a unicorn."

the GOP let the horse out of the barn a long time ago but only now is closing the doors. Except it wasn’t really a horse, but a mangy goat covered in rotten marmalade who thinks he’s a unicorn.

We should totally swap “balls” for “pussy” when talking about weakness. It’s more scientifically correct.