Don’t invent non-human colored people to prove how not racist you are.

Not that I’m calling the long lost family members bigoted but I find people who mention the color purple (heh) in discussions about race are almost always the type of racist who keeps their bigotry under wraps.

Please make U-turn.

I just almost apologized to a student via email that I hadn’t reminded him to submit a graduation form by the deadline (I had reminded other students with missing forms, but for some reason didn’t notice his was not in so he didn’t get the reminder). But Amy Schumer just reminded me, eff that, a reminder is a…

This isn’t being nerdy.

You win all the wins! I will follow you all the days of your life proclaiming before all peasants to bow down in your presence. None shall ever usurp your throne. Even Cersei knows when she is in the presence of greatness. The Dragons will do your bidding.

Vin Diesel probably wasn’t given any power wedgies from the high school football team, either, but that man loves the fuck out of Dungeons & Dragons and the history of the Punic Wars. Being awkward and ugly are not actually requirements for having nerdy interests.

And nerdy guys only want nerdy girls who can fill out Power Girl cosplay outfits. Nerds can be shallow too.

You need to provide specifics to that flight right this minute.

Neither was I, but in order to celebrate National Grilled Cheese Day + Game of Thrones season 5 premiere, I created a grilled cheese flight themed after the Stark children. There’s more than one way to earn nerd cred. ;)

Calling yourself a nerd seems like a humblebrag way to claim brains and depth.

There once was a lass from Gdansk,

Yes! Mine too; when I read « leather filled with bristles» I heard a muffled ouch!

It might have been a window display for the local dildomart. Like those big motorized Swiss army knives.

That fish is a Bowfin. Those things are nasty, tough fish, and can hang out without being in water for quite awhile. I'm quite sure the fish wasn't dying. It was waiting for its moment. I've had some unpleasant experiences with its kind before.

Kid. You just been fished slapped.

SOMEONE'S buying it. Maybe there's a secret midnight cabal of Clamato drinkers? Reformed vampires?

I suppose that by the time you've grown the fuck up you won't be going to clubs anymore, so maybe there's limited value in my writing this. The news: Being nice is helpful wherever you are. Getting the chip off your shoulder is helpful wherever you are. Because everybody in the world has a fucking problem and yours is…

I've been using procedural checklists for household based chores ever since I realized my family members were refusing to help on the basis they didn't know what to do.