Sure. Cut her off because she won’t call. That’s so rational. Snark aside, this is one controlling mother who needs to back off.

Not really. Using money and threatening to cut off contact with your child because they won’t call you back during the first semester of college is extreme. I cannot believe people think this is ok.

As someone who (fairly) recently was at college/grad school, I raised my eyebrows at a lot of what the mom was saying. Off the bat mentioning that she pays for college? Look, Lady, forcing your kid to pay for Ivy League school via loans will GUARANTEE a breakdown in your relationship (especially once those loans come…

The shifty things (financial threats, and the Christmas thing is just petty and spiteful) are characteristic patterns of manipulative relationships, which is why it has raised a red flag for some. That alone doesn’t let us know exactly what the situation is, but it’s enough to give us pause. That’s why we’re saying…

I’m with you here. I had to watch my boyfriend go through the same thing with his emotionally and financially abusive mother. Sorry you had to experience that too - it’s so hurtful. I can’t believe the people suggesting the daughter should just reject the financial help if she doesn’t want the mom doing this.…

How is she being blatantly rude? Venting to your sister in confidence about your mom being annoying isn’t being blatantly rude, it’s just surviving an overbearing parent. Calling your family when you have a reason to instead of just to chat also isn’t blatantly rude - some of us just aren’t phone chatters.

It’s not projection. Abusive behaviours have patterns and signs, which is why people can be trained to pick up on them. They are major red flags: appears unable to recognise or acknowledge the child’s feelings; denies any problem exists at home or at school, or blames the child for the problems; consistently blames or…

20 years ago when I was in college and cell phones and email were not so common, there was no contact with my family more than once a week. Current technology is a game changer- and not necessarily for the better. Going to college is a time when you’re supposed to break away from your parents, and if mom’s sending a…

When my kids were babies I worried when took a shower that they might need me. I would even feel a bit guilty. Because they were babies. Your mom is a big girl now and has to learn to handle her own life.