My gawd, Disneyland is the worst place on the planet. Why on earth would you take a date there?

Okay, this guy basically wrote the world’s most boring novel up there, so let me give you a the cliff’s notes version:

Every time you feel the need to post a comment, jog in place for 5 minutes instead.

no one asked your opinion.

I also have 6 thousand mismatched pairs of sheets that I have to go through every time we have a guest to try to find one pair that sort of looks like a set and also isn’t horribly stained. Id throw out the bad ones but... It seems like a waste even though they're unusable?

The problem with those lovely cream colored chunky blankets is that if I got one, it would never be washed and therefore would get Dog hair and cat hair and pizza sauce and cat pee and Chinese food sauce, and pot sticker sauce, and tikka masala sauce and white wine and red wine and vomit and period blood all over it…

This is a good time to remember this.

If I got this in the mail I would call the police.

What is this, a Christmas card for Victorian cats!?!

I play in a different field sport, but the treatment is often the same: the guys got to play in the main stadium or better fields, and we usually ended up on the pitch waaaaay off in the corner or the beat-up one. I particularly remember one ladies’ match in which we were given several piss-poor fields and the better…

Thanks for covering this. Insane that it took losing one of their best players to an ACL tear to deal with domestic playing surfaces, especially after all the crap FIFA put them through playing the WWC on turf.

That is a solid point that I have never before considered. And look how filling it would be! Let’s go out for dinner.

And all I can think of is whether or not it's edible, because coconut crab sounds delicious.

You would be well within your right to do this. You could not be blamed.

Hell no. Never seen a lizard longer than maybe 30cm. They’re cute but maybe not at that size.

If I was walking under a tree and this dropped a coconut on me and I looked up and there it was, I would just flat-out shit my pants.

They are herbivores and are generally harmless except when someone irritates it and loses a finger or they drop a coconut on unsuspecting bystanders from the top of coconut trees.

“With my phone and my cat”

I love animals. Loving animals is my thing. There are a few, though, that make the primitive part of my brain scream and run to the nearest corner to cower.

You know, just the other day someone asked who DumpTruck hadn’t offended and I was like “I think he hasn’t said anything overtly racist about the Jews?” I should have known to just wait a minute.