Yeah the ‘10s have always been rough for the Yanks. We’re all in for it in the 20s however.

Gio is what they call Rendon’s mullet.

I was trying to think of something clever that would be the opposite of a spark to describe what Trubisky’s return will be like and I thought of ‘a wet fart’ but then realized both that this thought wasn’t very original and also that it was only the result of my own unfortunate recency bias. Anyway Trubisky sucks and…

This isn’t to say that they’re not together, but their unity is more about class solidarity, and their pursuit reflects that penthouse-bound super-class’s dedication to extracting as much as possible from even their most immediate downstairs neighbors. They will absolutely find some sort of way to use the distorting…

Time is a flat circle, Mitchell Trubisky. 

Fun fact: juvenile scorpions are called scorplings. 

“I’d like to see him call offensive holding on a tight end while the slot receiver watches.”

There was another time Anibal has been in this situation before (though not in the playoffs): when he completed his no-hitter in 2006.

He’s at the National Zoo right now trying to kickstart the deployment, bucket of herring in his tiny hand.

Thank you for this important reminder, Ellen! “I have war criminal friends who don’t think the same things that i do. When I say be kind to one another , I don’t mean be kind to the people who think the same way you do . I mean ..Be Kind to EveryWarCriminal. “

My quick take is that I HATED Bill Laimbeer but it is also true that I loved hating him.

You are 100% correct, but I reserve the right to desperately speculate.

How great is it that Wall Street keeps giving her campaign soundbites? I love it. Keep it up, fuckers!

Consider this take notarized.

Can we add an article of impeachment that covers this to get some GOP Senators on board? I’m down with whatever it takes at this point. We need 20 of them to flip in order to can this peach.

“Wow immigration is complicated! I better stick to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, who can catch me up to speed on what’s happening over there?”

Especially because that’s part of the reason he became president. “Impeachment? I became president to get away with MORE shit, not less!”

That’s an awesome picture of that goddamn fucking slide FUCK

Fine, I was done anyway.