This is really validating. Once these elite athletes get on the bourbon-and-pizza-three-nights-a-week train I will really rest easy that I’ve solved life.

Is there some clause in kinja writer contracts that requires a trolling bad food take every so many months?

But what will we do with his huge dick???

This is true, but it worth pointing out that flying on airlines is safer than walking, riding a bike, using stairs, getting stung by a bee.

That rule only applies to the Raiders.

Proof they are godless heathens?

Fix bayonets!

Is there some way to vape the rich?

Let’s hope he sues and wins that plus a couple of zeroes on the end.

...unless it was twins?

Give Gruden the benefit of the doubt. How many other executives have helped lead two different teams (Bears, Cowboys) to the playoffs in a single season?

I also get like that after one Malört.

YOU ARE WRONG

I refuse to believe that the author is not being blackmailed or otherwise forced to write this to bring ridicule and shame upon themselves. While she doesn’t deserve scorn for what she writes under duress, there is something really dark going on in her life. Sending thoughts and prayers.

I’m disappointed Dulli didn’t use the original, sadder lyrics in his rendition.

Jon, you’re looking a little pale in this picture. You feelin’ okay?

Inner Town! Brings back fuzzy memories. That was our weekend bar, Tuman’s for weeknights.

(Narrator: Josh Johnson will not play like that in the remaining three games.)

As a relatively chinless, generally unimpressive-looking white male, I fully support the relentless ridicule of these boys’ looks, along with everything they say and do. Because that’s what fucking losers like them deserve. 

Pedro exceeded Roger’s peak, pretty clearly.