Michigan State just offered him a chancellorship. This state has done one hell of a heel turn over the past two years. Is there something in the water in that state? Oh right.

What a hypocrite. He’s been stretching that shirt out for YEARS. 

My wife is so afraid of someone noticing her when she goes to poop, she actually keeps a 2nd pair of shoes in her desk so nobody recognizes her in the stall. She calls them her Shittin’ Shoes.

Problem is he takes off plays, so there are going to be so many times when Tessitore wraps up the play call and gets hung out to dry when Moss sighs and mumbles something about not being no damn wing man. But when he’s on...man. Would be electric. 

“Doctors at the clinic have reportedly not yet defined the specific bacteria [definitely not CIA nanites] that ravaged Martín’s system...”

He was triple out. Forced, tagged, left the baseline. Only thing left is to be on the cover of Out magazine next month.

Waiter: Would you like some pepper, Mr. West?

HOLY SHIT THAT HUSBAND IN THE EMAIL OF THE WEEK

“Vikings fans travel about as well as Buddy Holly.” - line of the series imo.

Never go on a game show! Never do it!

A Michigan State fan looking the other way as a young athlete is abused?  Not exactly breaking news.

Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!

At least you said sorry before being dumb. 

There’s a rocket aimed toward the sun scheduled to take off tomorrow. I’m sure they could squeeze this coaching staff in the cargo hold.

I can’t believe this Taiwanese baseball league is just going to act like the First Amendment doesn’t apply to them.

I am loving this series so far and I humbly suggest you do Curious George next. The Man with the Yellow Hat kidnaps George from Africa at the beginning and it never comes up again.

Best final stage? American Gladiators (original) or GTFO. Just an endless barrage of semi-fit people getting mutilated by the best of 1980's roid rage.

No, I mean I’m pretty sure it is still better than Buffalo > Cleveland.