From his scouting report:

You’d have to be seriously insane to consider this kind of bizarre behavior. Running for miles and miles. Nuts, I say.

Rumspringa training.

GOLF CLAP

stfu, idiot.

Try chewing the grape.

Interesting.
“No, kids, you can’t have this delicious treat that has a fun toy inside; here’s a gun instead.”

Do they not have tacos in Argentina?

yeah, because they don’t cover “the earth is round” until your 4th year at Duke.

The problem is the Red Sox are in Ft. Meyers, FL and not Jupiter, which has a much stronger gravitational pull. He was over-correcting.

the only thing i care about in football is when the winning team lines up to gently kiss the tip of the president’s penis and receive a championship muffin

Actually, he’s a Spur.

The hissing sounds like air escaping a football.

A 60 year old man wearing a baseball uniform waddles out to a small grassy hillock. Before him stretches a rolling grassland leading to the bushy outliers of a vast and dark wood. The soft old man raises his hand and sounds an air horn. The blast fills the plain before him with sound. A short while later there is a…

MILWAUKEE-Asked restaurant host: “God, did you hear about Peter King?”
Host: “No.”
Me: “Died. from righteous indignation.”
Thought he would cry

What an asshole.

This is a cultural issue. Where young is from having multiple partners isn’t a big deal.

NJ.com also noted that there is “no mention of whether the teams in the St. John’s team’s division - the JV black league - can or cannot be co-ed, though other divisions are mentioned as strictly boys or girls teams.”

Fattest president since Taft? Fattest president since Taft.