I was on a trip with a girlfriend of mine and was leaning on the car as I was pumping gas. Apparently she was calling her parents house and leaving a message at the time.

I will be pronouncing it “symmetreye” from now on. Thanks.

I’d bet they’re not silent.

I had a coworker ask me about fantasy suggestions from the Yanks 2 years ago. After that spring training where Bird slashed .451/.556/1.098 I said this is your guy. I mean, he had a strong short 2015 while spelling Teixeira at the end of the season.

You must have missed the lesson on what a fact is.

I imagine that list is long

You got a little bit of a thing for this fella?

29 pitches to strike out 8 batters. You do the math.

If I see one more explanation of this shit as “these sentiments do not represent the values of..” blah blah fucking blah so help me god.

Well this guy has OBVIOUSLY done his homework.

Sometimes you do.

Rose is 8th on the tour in sand save percentage so maybe he makes birdie there anyway but it certainly would have been more dramatic.

Rose’s second on the 18th hit the upslope and should have come back into the bunker.....literally a few inches from 10 mil flipping hands.

The buried lede on this post is obviously that a blind drunk, champagne bottle-drinking infant is able to write so coherently.

That guy putting needles in strawberries is such a loser. Maybe he was hungry.

It’s like the nexus of the universe!

I was thinking Goodman as Brando trying to guess JFK’s brother Robert:

What is Montana? WHO is Montana?

Master class in how to be an attention whore. Personally i thought your story was kind of contrived (the dude banging both sisters? Really?) But otherwise the results speak for themselves.
Look at everyone lining up to give you the attention you so rightfully deserve. Brilliant!

Yet here you are....huh.
Keep fighting the good fight though!