Is it too strange that I feel like it's her natural goodness that makes her look so amazing. She just seems like a really great person, and, outside of Sue Sylvester (and even sometimes as her), Jane just radiates warmth to me. I want to bask in her glow.

It's illegal in some places, it just depends on how much impact it's had in a given area. Bath salts are outlawed in Pennsylvania for sure.

Ugh, bath salts are a pretty big problem in my hometown right now. I've never understood why anyone does amphetamines there, as everything is closed from 11pm to 5am, but this shit is the worst. It makes a lot of people really aggressive and violent, some kid I grew up with shot one of his best friends (non-fatally)…

As I apologized for Santorum on behalf of the people of Pennsylvania yesterday, I shall grant forgiveness to the people of Ft. Wayne, Indiana today.

Oh, Mr. Morris if only you knew. With the fruit punch, generic oreo cookie, and acrylic paint fume buzz, who knows what actually happened in the function room of St. Paul's Lutheran Church on Monday nights from 6 to 8 pm, although I'm sure it was really sexy. But, then again, Girl Scouts is a lot like the 60s, if you…

On behalf of the people of Pennsylvania, I apologize for unleashing this shitstorm of crazy onto the rest of America. But, you're right, we didn't want him back last time, that he's a viable candidate on the national stage boggles the mind.

I was sick this weekend, so I may have hallucinated it, but wasn't there a tweet about Jesus speaking English? English being good enough for Jesus? Did my roommate just tell me this and in my fever state, I believed it, because let's face it, it's not far off.

I see a lot of "fuck you"s going on here. I'm going to take this opportunity to once again quote my Poppy, "Never say fuck 'em, cause that's too good for them. What you want to do is piss on 'em, cause that's what they deserve."

Ricky Martin has always been an undeniably handsome man, but I can't tell you how much I appreciate that he appears to be letting his face age. Because, even dreamier than a really, really ridiculously good looking man, is a man who doesn't care too much that he's a really, really ridiculously good looking man.

I didn't delete one or two of them until I got a new phone, so it's not just you that was thinking about that. We could write our own song.

Oh, god, the Jessica/Hillary comparison is happening in real life in my family. My cousin and my Uncle's fiance are both pregs. Cousin is a teeny tiny human being, she's pocket-sized and I only hate her for it sometimes. Fiance (not Grizz's fiance, Fiance) is 5'8" and more athletically built. Cousin gets, "Oh, you're…

I'm going to go ahead and quote Nina Garcia here, "Short, tight, and shiny is the quickest way to look cheap." I'll also add see-through to that.

Look, jerks will be jerks. I had a Superman t-shirt on in a meeting, not a low-cut or super-tight fitting t-shirt, just a t-shirt on. I looked across the table and my art director was paying zero attention to the meeting sketching the Superman logo. No cleavage whatsoever and he figured out a way to be distracted.

Diplo never met any member of the extremely attractive Mennonite family that lives next door to my parents. For them, sexy never went away.

I'm going go old school here, Jean-Claude Van Damn! He looks hot. Don't be embarrassed Luke, I once harbored a strange attraction to Fat Joe, when he was still fat.

I'm going go old school here, Jean-Claude Van Damn! He looks hot. Don't be embarrassed Luke, I once harbored a strange attraction to Fat Joe, when he was still fat.

Maybe she meant he could be a role model if he'd changed at all, and wasn't still a raging rageaholic baby.

This is really all I wanted to say about Sherri Shepherd.

Can we reverse the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo? I'll even get a kickstarter campaign going to raise the $15 million we paid Mexico for Arizona. Or, OR! We could fold Arizona back into New Mexico, New Mexicans seem pretty cool, maybe they could mellow the Arizonans out?

To quote Snoop Dogg (which the teachers of Arizona would no longer be able to do), for shizzle. I used to have a teacher roommate, I'd leave work at 5 and meet up with her teacher friends at a happy hour, say a half hour later, it was plastered-city. These would be inner-city Philadelphia elementary school teachers.