I’m all for respecting other peoples sexual orientation, but I really cannot abide ammosexuals.

In the US, you have to try real hard to get in the gorilla pit.

There is the assumption that the parents are there for the good of their children. That is not necessarily the case.

Yep, pretty much at whatever age the teen gets pregnant, they get to decide what to do with THEIR pregnancy.

Wouldn’t a movie with her and Aisha Tyler playing sisters who take over their mom’s detective agency be THE BEST THING EVER?

The letters drive me insane. It’s not cute or interesting to slap the word KITCHEN on the wall in your fucking kitchen.

“Metal Letters on the Wall: What Can YOU Spell?"

“Gigantic clocks: Why no room is complete without one.”

Once when I was drunk, a pack (murder?) of raccoons chased me across the campus of UC Santa Barbara until I hid behind a book depository and prayed to Artemis for deliverance.

Maybe this is just a California thing (I always assumed most cities dealt with raccoon issues?), but we’ve always had hoards of them here. When I lived in San Francisco near Golden Gate Park, you had to be careful if you got home after dark and walked home because gangs of raccoons would be going through the trash,…

Here’s something I can’t explain. Watches don’t work on me. Any time I had a watch, whether it was a Fossil or a Timex or whatever, the battery would die in a month or two. And even with a battery replacement, the watches never worked again. This happened five or six times. I am a Seiko killer.

Kisses and hugs to the most wonderful babysitter I ever had (now in heaven)- the nicest lady I ever met, Lulah Rose. Thanks for the reminder of a great lady- and blessings to the beautiful baby!!

People want to set up all these rules to follow but at the end of the day they’re meaningless. Women get raped because somebody decided to rape them.

Or Freeway!

It would be like getting motor-boated by a human-sized large toe.

She’s immeasurably better than Trevor Noah. I’m really glad that she was given her own show to build from the ground up, but I sure wish it was nightly instead of weekly... I’m still going through withdrawal every week, while I wait for Full Frontal and Last Week Tonight...

I love Samantha Bee and her show. She is on point and angry. I like that about her.

But he doesn’t support women as a whole.

Am I the only one old enough to remember Dawn Dolls? Cuz that’s what Anna Kendrick looks like in that picture.