In an ideal world, having to drive a Hillman Avenger should be compensated with the company of a bikini-clad girl, or two. Real life is different, though.

Maluco. Até pra o Torchão...

Manual

The Ford Sierra wagon I learned to drive on.

Most likely he is white.

Torch, thanks for sharing such a beautiful story. I’ve always thought that you came from a different planet and your pod landed randomly about the Jalopnik HQ, forcing you to blend in by writing wicked awesome articles about cars and whatnot.

Nah. Just an obese, bald beaver after smoking bad pot.

Heliogabale, is that you?

Do you want our Torch dead?

An evil, horrendous beast of ancient times, bearer of disgrace! Yes, please.

Washing Renaults' hubcaps?

Looks as if some one is forcing an ice cube as a suppository onto it.

You are out-Torching the Torch... Notable indeed.

FCA's response is pumpkin-head levels of fakenewsery. They broke the bullshit-o-meter.

This strikes close to home. When I was a child, I saw a wagon rendition of this very car, an Isard 700 Kombi. It was parked in front of my house, and belonged to a plumber working at some neighbor’s.

Impressive. Ford managers in Argentina were also convicted for crimes against humanity, as they provided the last dictatorship’s death squads with lists of workers who would remain disappeared. And not only sold them thousands of Falcons, but also gave said squads the lists of civilian buyers, whose cars would be…

Dude, great! You are part of the 5.24% who didn’t get an SUV or crossover!

My statistics are not made up. They come from my own arse. Word.

They go for the SUV, 94,76% of the time. Fact.

Hey! Stop bullying the drummer! Drummers are people, too! (Oh, where did I leave my bourbon?)