This is where my life-long committment to human rights ends.

No, Tavarish, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with your esthetic sensibility. Nothing.

Well, you have a highly poisonous, little predator with a disturbing number of eyes that makes its prey freeze out of horror, and that is willing to kill you in no time for the heck of it.

That’s a deal braker. How are you supposed to roll in this thing if you can’t blast some rap on it?

It reeks of Hip-hop stardom and foot-ball money.

Wall: 1

So, he went on and pushed himself out of the track? Brilliant!

Clue: the monkey is high as fuck.

Da.

Toaster? What toaster?

I will believe again if I come to know that the perpetrator, the seller, and all probable buyers end up driving Tempoes and Dinasties until doom.

I feel very sorry for the kind of person who would buy this car. And for whoever thought that this was a good idea.

I’d say: remove the Morgan badge and everyone will think it’s a poorly designed kit car made in Nebrahoma to recycle the underpinnings of your ‘80s Ford LTD.

Hey, I want to go to Ottawa!

So, you can go full-noon...

“But, hey! It’s assembled here and glued together by our very own compatriots who developed even the screws to bolt shit together! You should be proud!”

Ahhh, why did you have to spoil the crazy swap on the headlines! Why can’t you just say that it hides something cool under the hood! I didn’t have time to read the article because I was cooking/playing golf/knitting/unclogging the toilet/translating an article on pharmacologically-induced memory dumping!

Sad Bug is Sad. Plus, I cannot unsee the evil grin of the white SUV turd behind.

...And Dodge Dart-Valiant.

“Now, I understand that the initial reaction to these bumpers is normally a derisive one.”