Clearly, I care about whatever point that might have been, because you seem like such a fun and interesting person and your opinion should matter to all of us.

Gaw, don't you just hate cultural appropriation? It's like my grandparents always used to say: "Like should stay with like!"

Hmm… Nope, can't imagine why anyone would be annoyed by somebody who says things like that.

I've already seen a bigger ham and cheese sandwich with Vin Diesel. It's called the Fast & Furious series.

I'd have said to post before you start drinking for the night, but since I'm too late for that, I'll just give you a little useful advice I learned from Dave Attell: It's pants down, then shit, got it?

Either I watched a different Snowpiercer than everyone else did, or that movie is the cinematic equivalent of Chance the gardener.

It's a bad game, honestly, but it's not a forgettable one.

In other words, the Sandman put him to sleep one night and never woke him up… before he went-went.

Harvester… Man, that was one fucked-up game.

Welp, that's it; I now know exactly how I'm going to die.

Did I condone such a thing, or is it simply a custom here to put words in other people's mouths?

Between Episode I and his part in Jingle all the Way, it seemed like Jake Lloyd just couldn't act very well. Then again, a lot of proven good actors turned in mediocre performances in the prequels, and nobody else was trying at all in Jingle, so who knows?

Ridiculous. Everyone knows Mrs. Dash is salt-free.

I think it's just a problem endemic to 24-hours news in general. The actual, relevant information can usually be covered in the space of an hour, but that still leaves 23 more to fill, and that's when the "analysis" rears its ugly head.

I'm afraid Wallace Shawn is no longer with us after matching wits with the Man in Black. Inconceivably, Shawn's foe developed an immunity to the lethal effects of Iocane powder, and had in fact poisoned both goblets.

What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!

No, the price for your transgression is DEATH.

Since Castlevania III never came out for the Sega Genesis, you'd have much more fun playing it on an NES instead.

I DON'T KNOW!!

Well, if Trump ever promises to secure the border with a yuge mechanical spider, at least we'll know where he got the idea…