Not gonna lie, if Eat, Poot, Leave was in theaters at the time, I'd have definitely watched it over The Expendables.

To this day, 3 Ninjas is the only film I'm aware of where the villain is defeated by a mouthful of jellybeans, and unless I sell my screenplay for A. Wilford Brimley Conquers the World, I fear we may never see another.

…But were any of your dates pizza-worthy?

I don't know about you guys, but when I think about this show, it just… It makes me wanna fart.

It happens.

For various legal reasons, we can't give direct links for that sort of thing. I can tell you, though, that if you tried looking up a paradise for emus, that'd be a good start.

Mmm, spring onion vichyssoise…

Lucky for us, he's a never-nude.

You can never tell with authors when it comes to artistic compromise. Roald Dahl bitched, fiercely and often, about the changes made to his stories, even though he still made some nice bank off them.

Which pretty much sums up why the film is honestly better than the book in the way it portrays Rambo as a troubled and broken human being, rather than a psychotic monster. Even David Morrell himself approves of the changes they made.

You might be misremembering it. I only recall hearing that part of the score as the Guardsmen arrive on scene, and it seems to be putting on an almost-sarcastic tone, as if saying "Weekend Warriors to the rescue. Yay."

Rambo's tearful breakdown at the end goes without saying, but there's another line from him that always gets me:

Alien wasp creatures aren't funny. There, I said it.

Already doing it now. Thanks for the idea.

Oh, not just her; my daily affirmation takes about 6 hours to get through. Gotta be ready for anything, y'know.

Yeah, Ebert could be extremely patronizing sometimes without realizing it, much like those sheltered suburbanites who visit touristy places like New Orleans and gush about how "real" everyone there is.

They've pretty much got the spooky, ethereal quality down, but it needs to be more… drippy. Gammell's work hits a bare nerve with the way it manages to be surreal and dreamlike, but also grotesquely organic at the same time.

Oddly enough, I did see this coming. Granted, I've been predicting it every day for about 15 years now, so I had to be right eventually.

It bothers me sometimes, but usually I can work up a good belch and it goes away.

"Aww, aren't you a cutie?"