While watching the FIFA World Cup a few weeks ago, my boss noticed players sitting in race car seats, and ordered me to figure out why.

>saved the GIF for future Mustang jokes

Maybe you should have your Valium and three or four beers then worry less about what other people eat.

I like to do that, but the only difference is that I smash up the entire bag of chips so I have more to work with. Once they’re smashed all the way down to crumbs, I like to take the bag and pour the crumbs into my mouth until my mouth is halfway full, then I take salsa or queso(if you’re feeling fancy) and pour in…

Remember when Barack was President and we didn’t have to worry about who anyone was fucking and what porn they were watching?

P-R-I-V-A-T-I-Z-E?

Dude, no need for a gender swap from what I recall.

As a German-car enthusiast, the thought of all those incinerated BMWs and Mercedes makes me sad.

The groundhog’s fur being brown had NOTHING to do with it....riiiiiiiiiiiight.

The presidential limo aimed straight for the sun.

The annoying relatives are often mixed in with the ones you actually want to see.

I prefer a car no one else wants to get in.

Well, look at you count moneybags

I’ll be seated in one of those cars...

“Instead of fixing it, I drove around for a couple weeks using my brights, because I’m a lazy asshole.” 

Can confirm. The torque is cra-cra.

That’s why I’m glad I live in a backwoods. People don’t even have TV in their house let alone gas pumps. Either way just set it to autofill and then get back in the car until it’s done. Welcome to the shithole time we live in where you can’t get a moment’s peace. It’ll only get worse. Right now some dickhole is…

- He was D.W.B (Driving While Black). Probably didn’t want to get shot.

There’s a satanic church nearby that has a black busvan covered in flame decals. Think it’s got Hellrider written on the side. Nice folks, they troll a bunch but they donate a lot to local animal shelters and the homeless programs.