If you don't vote for doormat salesman, fuck you.

Doormat salesman!? I mean, you have to really know people to convince them to buy a doormat....

Yeah I wouldn’t mind Draper’s blogs appearing exclusively on Cyber Dust, where no one will ever see them.

Get ready for “The San Antonio Spurs Lost Their _th Game of the Season.”

jordan please see a doctor about the sports hernia you certainly got as a result of this strained sports opinion.

That was a mistake in communication on Kerr’s part. He thought the key to a championship was McAdoo, when he should’ve gone with BRRRRRABAADOOOOOOOOOOO

Kevin Love: McAdoo? More like McA-DON’T, amirite?! [awkwardly holds his arm up, looking for someone to high five]

I’d rather see a Giant skateboard at a Dogs game, but that’s just me.

Unfortunately, the dog later died on the way back to his home planet.

Well I, for one, have found my third party candidate

This profile is one video short of being The Onion’s “College Basketball Star Heroically Overcomes Tragic Rape He Committed.”

“I don’t understand why Cleveland wants a ring so bad. This court has 2 basketball rings already!” - Ted Cruz

LeBron James, now 31 years old and carrying more miles than the car you bought for $800 when you were 17,

You are a very smart person.

Proving why he’s a legend in the game.

In retaliation for the classless move, his catcher threw at him in the subsequent inning.

There’s really no defense for it.

Someone glossed over the title. It’s ok, I did a double take too.

Clearly unintentional — He just doesnt have the core strength to stop his arm from flailing into Lebron’s testicles.

As long as we can keep complaining about kinja.